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Yes, we like dating, but not some of the creeps who come with it! To make it a safe and respectful experience, here are 5 things that men who date need to know.
Dating is a master class in life lessons. Don’t judge a book by its cover. Have the good sense to choose right. Trust is a precious gift. Sometimes it is not about the destination, and many more.
To me the experience has given an unambiguous sense to identifying the ‘REAL MAN’. You can always tell them apart. They shine like the moonlight on still water.
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They are gentle. They will never ask uncomfortable questions. They will know when/if a topic makes you tense. They will not typecast you for your life choices. They will know not to turn a healthy debate into an argument. But most of all, they will be courageous.
Courage comes in all colours and sizes. It takes courage to pick up a fight with a street harasser, but it also takes courage to be honest. I am talking about the latter.
Learn how to ‘man up’…
It is absolutely your prerogative to look for a hookup. Have the courage to say it loud and clear. And it is possible for the other person to misunderstand you the first time. Say it again. Look for signs of discomfort and back the hell off.
It is natural to get carried away. And it could be mutual. And yes, a peck on the cheek or a kiss at an opportune moment, could be a beautiful thing. But it takes time to process any emotion, after looking at all sides of a situation, have the courage to give her and yourself that time.
It could be just to thank her for a fun date. It takes courage to put your ego aside and say a few kind words. And it takes more courage to leave it at that. Let her take her time to respond. She will. Whether it is a yes or a no, to another date, she will respond.
After, a fun date, a warm hug and a ‘let’s do this again’; disappearing on the woman is the most cowardly thing you could ever do. Maybe you changed your mind the next morning, maybe you realized it was just the alcohol, maybe you found out something about the person they next day, something that doesn’t work for you. It takes courage to let her know. Do it goddammit. She is a woman and has more emotional strength that you think, to deal with rejection. Give her credit for it.
Strength of character is rare. And somewhere I do believe, that you either have it, or you don’t. A person’s upbringing plays a huge role.
But while writing this piece, I was only thinking about the possibility of some men who date being ignorant or just plain shy, and how reading something could make them mend their ways. I am hopeful.
Also, I am certain there is someone out there making a list of things a woman must do, to ‘woman up’. And I am waiting to read it.
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