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People will comment on you child's being fat or thin, colour, and much else. As a parent, you teach them to handle it with grace and not let it bother them!
People will comment on you child’s being fat or thin, colour, and much else. As a parent, you teach them to handle it with grace and not let it bother them!
“Baby, doesn’t your mother feed you? You are looking so weak!”
This distasteful statement made by an aunt to my then one month old infant instantly triggered so many unpleasant memories which I had thought that I had left far behind.
My parents tried desperately for about 25 years to literally fatten me up, to no avail. Mealtimes were stressful events when I was forced and compelled to eat. I was dragged to doctors to be examined and analysed all in the quest to find an answer to that all important puzzling question: “Why doesn’t she put on weight?” This despite the fact that most doctors said that I fell within the normal range.
The first question that many people asked me upon seeing me after some time would be – and actually still is – “Why have you lost so much weight?” If that was indeed true then I should have vanished into thin air by now!
Growing up I always felt compared unfavourably to chubbier children and ended up internalizing these messages. There seems to be a widespread misconception in our society that chubby kids are healthier and more beautiful than their leaner counterparts. “You look like a scarecrow”, “this dress doesn’t suit you because you are too thin”, “you look like a TB patient”, “the sari won’t stay on you because you have no curves” – I got so used to hearing all these repeatedly.
It has taken me nearly 30 years to actually look into the mirror and truly believe that I am beautiful. In fact I remember back in college when someone said I looked pretty, I was so surprised and found it hard to believe – because I had such a negative body image about myself. Even today when I head over to the gym, a lot of people ask, “Why are you at the gym? You don’t need to work out!” Newsflash – everyone needs to work out to stay fit and healthy. Working out is not just for weight loss, there is so much more to it. Improving your stamina, building your strength, toning your muscles, increasing your energy levels, improving sleep, eating right for your body, a brighter state of mind due to the release of positive hormones – the list of benefits to exercising is endless.
It’s taken me a really long time to accept my body and to become comfortable with it. God forbid that my child grows up thinking that she is anything but beautiful. Of course I know that beauty is but an illusion, a mirage if you may; something which is as fleeting as time and whose definition varies greatly from era to era and person to person.
Yet, trust me, growing up thinking that you are not good enough is a sure shot way to damage your self-esteem. A negative sense of self-worth often results in lifelong low confidence, self-consciousness and the habit of doubting one’s capabilities. You can bet that I’m not going to let that happen to my daughter. My daughter has always been a slow weight gainer, perhaps it is in her genes. But I am not going to let history repeat.
I will not pass any sort of negative remarks about her natural colour or weight or any such physical characteristics. To me, she is beautiful beyond description. Not a day goes by without me admiring her dimpled smile, her curly locks, her bright shiny eyes, her toddler talk, all the little actions that she does… I couldn’t ask for anything more – not a few extra pounds on her petite frame nor an inch longer on her unruly hair. All I care about is if she is healthy, happy and safe.
And if anyone does remark on how slim she is, as I’m quite sure many will – as many do already – I will teach her to smile and handle it with grace. Because you see, you don’t need someone else’s approval to be beautiful.
Image source: shutterstock
Anne John loves to play with words and calls herself a reader, writer, explorer & dreamer. She has a wide range of interests and has recently jumped onto the Mommy Vlogger bandwagon! read more...
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Children should be taught to aspire to be successful, but success doesn't have to mean an IIT admission only!
Imagine studying for 2 or 3 or 4 or 5 whole years for the JEE exam only to find out that there’s only a very, very slim chance of getting into an IIT. It is a fact widely acknowledged that the IIT-JEE is one of the toughest exams not just in India but in the whole world. Apart from IITs, the NITs and IIITs of India also accept the JEE scores for admission. There are said to be a total of 23 IITs, 31 NITs and 25 IIITs across the country.
Now, let’s first get a few facts about the IITs right. First, according to the NIRF rankings of 2023, only 17 IITs rank in the top 50 engineering colleges of India and only a few (around 5) IITs are in the list of the world’s top 100 engineering colleges. Second, the dropout rate of IIT-qualifying students stands at least at 20%, with reasons being cited ranging from academic pressure and unmanageable workload to caste discrimination and high levels of competition within the IIT.
So, it’s quite clear that the journey of making it through IIT is as challenging as the journey of getting into an IIT. Third and most important of all, the acceptance rate or the odds of getting into an IIT are below 3% which is a lot lower than the acceptance rate of highly and very highly ranked US universities. Four, getting into an IIT of one’s choice doesn’t mean one will also get into a branch of one’s preference at that IIT.
Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia.
It is amazing when a person turns personal adversity into a calling, and extends empathy to make a significant impact in the lives of other people. This has been the life’s journey of Dr Nalini Parthasarathi.
April 17 is World Hemophilia Day. Dr Nalini Parthasarathi, 79, based in Puducherry has dedicated 30 years of her life caring for people suffering from hemophilia. She was honoured with the Padma Shri in 2023.
Hemophilia is a condition where one or more clotting factor is absent leading to bleeding. Severe cases can be life-threatening.
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