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Your body, your control. Work on it, for yourself, but don’t shaming your body is out! Because, if you don’t approve of yourself, who else will?
A few months ago, a relative of mine had come to visit. He looked at me and exclaimed, “Aishu, you had reduced so well but you have put on weight again now!”
I was too dumbfounded to react, and I just shrugged and let it pass. But even after he had left, I couldn’t help but ponder on it. Had I really put on weight? Was I looking bad? But I didn’t look like I had gained weight. With so many thoughts in mind, I kept glancing at the mirror now and again.
The next morning, the first thing I did when I woke up was look into the mirror and proceeded to feel my flab. The whole day was whiled away with me pinching myself over and over again (to feel if there was any extra bit of flesh!), until the evening when my mother asked me why I was running to the mirror every half an hour.
This struck me; had I been looking at the mirror that often? Why was I being so bothered by a comment from someone? Did someone’s approval matter so much?!
I remember, when I was a young girl, I used to be tense just before my father came to India (my dad works abroad) and would undergo crash diets and do last minute exercises lest my dad commented on how I looked. I have worn those big, flowing dresses so that I wouldn’t look fat (and fat is a term I heard since time immemorial in my life!). I have sucked my tummy in and posed for pictures and videos; videos, which when seen now, looks like I had been having some kind of breathing trouble! I have been hesitant to dress up or to even flaunt myself just for the fear that I didn’t look good enough.
But, if I don’t approve of myself, who else will? This is the case for a lot of us women. We are just not happy/ comfortable with the way we are. A friend of mine has a healthy body, but she complains that she has a flat butt. Another complains that she has a double chin while another hates her curves. It matters so much to us to get into a shape that is accepted by society. We are ashamed to wear skirts or shorts if we haven’t got our legs waxed, sleeveless is a strict no-no if our underarms are not devoid of hair, a little bit of hair on the upper lips – get ‘em threaded! Slim teas and protein shakes, we try them all. In an attempt to seek everyone’s approval, we have just lost our liberty to our body.
We need to understand that we are so much more than our body. We are our thoughts, we are our emotions, and we are our actions. Most of all, we are our soul. Isn’t that what is most important?? There have been days when I have felt very inferior about myself, and have spent almost 20 years hating my body but earlier this year I decided I won’t. I embrace myself, my curves, and everything else that makes me, because those are what make me, me. Today, when I look into the mirror, I see someone who is capable of so much love and compassion, and I love myself for that.
Your body, Your control. Work on it but don’t shame it! Because, if you don’t approve of yourself, who else will?
P.S: This is not a post out of self pity nor is it a post telling people not to work on their body. Get fit for yourself, be healthy for yourself, hell, get piercings or tattoos, but do it for you, and only YOU!
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
I used to work in Human Resources, but now am a Freelance Consultant of Content. An avid reader and traveler, I feel writing liberates me. An amateur blogger, I am an optimist by nature, wanderer read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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