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If you are 30 plus, or dark,...the list can go on - you can forget about being considered to have a right to exercising your choice!
If you are 30 plus, or dark,…the list can go on – you can forget about being considered to have a right to exercising your choice!
“Guitar lessons! Why do you want to take it at this age and how is this going to help you in your upcoming married life? Instead, join some cookery class,” a doting father advised his daughter nearing her 30s.
“Power bob cut! Who do you think is going to appreciate your new hairstyle amongst your future in-laws or the guy himself?” exclaimed a concerned mother to her darling daughter.
“Give some ayurvedic (after all there shouldn’t be any side effects too) or medicinal cream to my daughter doc! So that her skin brightens and she looks her best in the upcoming meeting with an NRI family,” requested a mother to the best skin care specialist in the town.
“Why don’t you go to a fitness studio my dear, or else start doing one fast a week? Look, boys don’t like fat girls,” proposed an elderly aunt. “Look at your complexion! With this colour how can you envision marrying a handsome boy?” argued a married cousin. “Better drop off all your terms and conditions now, after all you are nearing your 30s now.” This was a consensus thought amongst all.
Disclaimer: No, these are not excerpts from a typical Indian TV family drama. All these conversations are based on real people, not co-incidental or fictional. This in some way a reflection of our society and reality.
The point that I want to make here is – why are girls being objectified or publicised just like a product, and that if they have crossed a certain age, they should refrain from making any choices of their own and just be presented as marriage material girl?
Guitar lessons might not be taken just to add one more category as hobbies in her bio-data! Can’t she take it just to de-stress and because she likes to? (After all it’s a proven therapy)
She likes to have her hair short, or might be having it to combat the heat of summer. Why should it be always about a future husband or in laws?
Can her medals and achievements not overpower her weight or skin colour?
Should age be such a strong constraint that she should cast aside all her ambitions and settle for less than what she deserves?
I don’t have answers to these questions. Do you?
The idea which makes me shudder the most is, all this advice or suggestions come from her own near and dear ones, which makes me wonder if her own family (with whom she has spent almost half of her life) fail to understand her! What, then, can she expect from the ‘NEW’ family?
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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