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If you are 30 plus, or dark,…the list can go on – you can forget about being considered to have a right to exercising your choice!
“Guitar lessons! Why do you want to take it at this age and how is this going to help you in your upcoming married life? Instead, join some cookery class,” a doting father advised his daughter nearing her 30s.
“Power bob cut! Who do you think is going to appreciate your new hairstyle amongst your future in-laws or the guy himself?” exclaimed a concerned mother to her darling daughter.
“Give some ayurvedic (after all there shouldn’t be any side effects too) or medicinal cream to my daughter doc! So that her skin brightens and she looks her best in the upcoming meeting with an NRI family,” requested a mother to the best skin care specialist in the town.
“Why don’t you go to a fitness studio my dear, or else start doing one fast a week? Look, boys don’t like fat girls,” proposed an elderly aunt. “Look at your complexion! With this colour how can you envision marrying a handsome boy?” argued a married cousin. “Better drop off all your terms and conditions now, after all you are nearing your 30s now.” This was a consensus thought amongst all.
Disclaimer: No, these are not excerpts from a typical Indian TV family drama. All these conversations are based on real people, not co-incidental or fictional. This in some way a reflection of our society and reality.
The point that I want to make here is – why are girls being objectified or publicised just like a product, and that if they have crossed a certain age, they should refrain from making any choices of their own and just be presented as marriage material girl?
Guitar lessons might not be taken just to add one more category as hobbies in her bio-data! Can’t she take it just to de-stress and because she likes to? (After all it’s a proven therapy)
She likes to have her hair short, or might be having it to combat the heat of summer. Why should it be always about a future husband or in laws?
Can her medals and achievements not overpower her weight or skin colour?
Should age be such a strong constraint that she should cast aside all her ambitions and settle for less than what she deserves?
I don’t have answers to these questions. Do you?
The idea which makes me shudder the most is, all this advice or suggestions come from her own near and dear ones, which makes me wonder if her own family (with whom she has spent almost half of her life) fail to understand her! What, then, can she expect from the ‘NEW’ family?
Image source: pixabay