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“Kitchen work is girl’s’ work!” It’s time we dissed this stereotype, and let boys play, cook, clean, dance and do everything else they love.
Gender stereotypes – they feel like a never-ending battle that starts right from the moment we come into this world! It begins with the inevitable monochrome bombardment of “Pink is for girls and blue is for boys”; it then goes onto “Boys don’t cry”, “Boys shouldn’t cook”, until we end up at “Men know nothing about childcare and suck at parenting!”
These are dangerous analogies that do more harm than good, as any overworked woman with a spouse who does nothing will tell you!
While it is great that all of us are talking a lot more about gender quality and breaking stereotypes when it comes to our girls, we often (and very comfortably) forget our boys. As a mother, I feel our boys need a sense of gender equality even more so than our girls – simply because real change is not going to come by if we leave this 50% behind. Such stereotypes also put a big burden on boys to hide their emotions and not be too obviously caring.
I believe despite what we are told, we as parents and grown-ups need to open our minds to the idea that both genders can appreciate a diverse palette – whether it comes to careers or household work or anything else.
This video by Brooke Bond Red Label is a refreshing change and reminds us to #unstereotype and break free from the usual bias that we are exposed to every day of our lives. Two little kids, a boy and a girl, having a tea party with each other – as simple as it gets, and yet it shatters stereotypes.
Yes, our children are likely to have distinct personality traits and it is possible that biology influences behaviour in some ways. And since we live in a society that is saturated with stereotypical messages about gender, it is difficult to keep our children away from its negative influence.
Plus, it’s not like we landed here from outer space! Given our own upbringing in the same patriarchal society with the same ideas of gender roles as watertight compartments, it is easy to fall into the trap of generalising.
But change has to begin and it has to start with us. As a parent, I resist. I resist all these stereotypical tropes shot at me. I refuse to accept that we can assign a gender to a colour or a toy or a sport or a career or for that matter, anything. If girls can have it all, then so can boys.
Gender equality won’t be a distant dream if we can resist our own urge to tell our children what to do based on their gender. Let our children be what they want to be and do what they want to do, whether it is learn ballet, play with dolls or make tea and be #ABoyWhoGirlsLike. Yes, women like men who cook and I can vouch for that! And it’s not just cooking – any girl would like a boy who truly respects her and treats her as an equal.
True equality after all will come in only when men and women can both appreciate each other as individuals, for who they are, rather than what they should be!
Follow the #Unstereotype conversation over here on Twitter!
A part time backpacker, an accidental baker, a doting mother, a loving wife, a pampered daughter, an inspired blogger, an amateur photographer read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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