Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
A woman alone is considered fair game for many things in society. Not the least of which are intrusive questions by the auntijis!
So you are an independent woman, or at the least inching towards the later half of the 20s. There are many who cannot tolerate this! A woman alone, having so much freedom?! Chee, chee!
So, out come the questions!
Beta! When are you planning to get married? (As if this person has been saving all his life to give you good gifts at your wedding. We all know that one will surely be a crockery set!)
Hey! Aur kitna padhogi yaar? (As if this person has to pay tax on my education!)
OMG! Do you stay alone in Mumbai? (Why?Does Mumbai has Vampires?)
Are you going to travel alone? That far? Shadi karke pati ke saath jaati toh? (Woohoo… so you mean marriage can protect me against all nasty looks?)
Abhi tak shaadi nahi hui? Koi problem hogi. (No comments on them. This category has no right to live.)
These are some of the questions which a woman alone often hears when in the later half of our twenties. And one fine day … Phew! You marry someone. But wait, It doesn’t stop there. Now everybody has different kinds of questions and this time they get a bit more interesting (read frustrating). Especially if you and your spouse might be living apart for convenience of work.
Beta! You both stay in different towns? (Yeah but you are not invited at any of these places!)
Ohh! When do you meet then? (And by this people are just calculating how often do you have sex!)
And then meet this category of people who feel that the girl is earning not because she likes to have her independence and that she is equally qualified but because her in-laws want her to earn for them. Can’t keep track of your money? You can approach this another category who has already done the calculations of your finances and income.
Wait Wait! You definitely can’t escape these aunties who believe that if you marry someone, that makes you the female version of Bappi Lehri. “Beta! Tumhari to abhi shaadi hui hai na? Where is your chura, jewellery? Why don’t you wear some good (read gaudy) saarees?” (OMG! The Pandit didn’t tell me that I have to wear any of these permanently once I marry!)
I have written this article not just to give a you a good laugh! This happens. This will keep on happening whether you marry someone or not. Your marriage is a one day ‘Eating Chatting Blabbering Clicking and Backbiting’ event for almost everybody except you and your spouse, and maybe some close family.
Not every girl can be a band-baja bride and wear a Sabyasachhi, but yes, every girl is a princess for her parents and deserves to be the queen of someone. You can’t afford to choose the wrong person. For those who say that marriage makes you more dependent, let me tell you that it has made me feel freer. I wear the clothes I like, wake up whenever I want, pursue the career of my choice, buy my own diamonds and yes, take my own decisions. There are both good days and bad days but I have someone with whom I can be myself.
The point is, this all depends on that one decision which you take. Don’t just marry someone for the sake of saving yourself from such shitty remarks. Stay calm and wait for the right time and the right person even if it takes a good amount of time. Simple maths, ladies! One or two more years of your life that goes in deciding your life partner is NOT equal to the next forty- fifty years you are going to spend with this person.
So next time when you hear such a remark, you know what to do to that person!
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Image source: By Steve Evans from Citizen of the World (Mumbai: Young Woman) [CC BY 2.0], via Wikimedia Commons
Wanderer by nature, IITian by qualification, An HR manager by profession. Love exploring new places, new cuisines, new cultures. Romantic wifi,Desi Bahu-at-home ,an Agyakari Daughter, quarrelsome Sis and a totally ambitious person. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address