Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Perception of beauty. It can be such a personal thing, and certainly something that evolves over time, and can be guided in a positive direction.
An advice I would give my younger self is ‘Don’t sweat the small stuff including beauty.’
Nearly ten years, marriage and motherhood later, I have come to a wholly different perception of Beauty.
I remember my earliest days as a freelance writer – my very first project was with this international fashion magazine. In one of my conversations with the client, he told me how he was tired of the standard ‘cookie-cutter’ fashion models invading the international fashion ramp walks and print magazine ads. This client was ruing the racism that exists within the parameters of beauty in the international fashion industry. He longed to see more diversity in the forefront of fashion – tall women, short women, white women, black women, brown women, yellow women, thin women, fat women, young women, mature women, old women, etc.
Come to think about it, it is indeed pretty ironic. While fashion per se’ is self-proclaimed and marketed as an infinitely creative and liberating process which is designed to break down all social norms and conventions, it was terrifyingly narrow in its perspective and binding when it came to definition of Beauty.
Pre-puberty adolescent girls (the cream being the Caucasian, blonde and blue-eyed ones) who are under-nourished, stripped and intellectually dimmed to the point of looking blank and soulless like zombies on the ramp are continuously being promoted and marketed as the highest hallmarks of Beauty.
Like the client, my perception of Beauty has radically changed over the years as well. I have realized the futility of trying to hold onto something that is transient, chameleon-like, and simply fated to fade out and lose its lustre slowly but surely over time.
Don’t get me wrong. I still like to dress up and look good. And that in itself is a creative process of self expression. But I have realized that Beauty is honestly something you don’t have to fret or even feel insecure about.
And this realization dawned upon me when after motherhood and post a few kilograms gained, I was still getting my fair share of attention, both male and female. In fact, I am being loved, admired and accepted whole-heartedly, a lot more now than in my twenties, when I looked an ideal version of myself physically. So, what exactly changed?
In two words – my perspective!
No longer is my identity or self worth attached to the external, peripheral things, such as a job title/career, bank balance/wealth, family lineage, a certain physical standard of the perception of Beauty etc.
In my thirties, I have found a liberating sense of confidence and real pleasure of being in my own skin, being authentic and true to myself. Accepting all my flaws… whatever they may be. And boy, I sure have loads of them. Some which are an ongoing ‘work-in-progress’ and the others which don’t matter to me anymore. And if those flaws of mine bother others, it honestly is their prerogative and none of my business.
I love my short height. I love my Mommy body with all the stretch marks, cellulite and thunder thighs. I love my stubby nose. I love my dusky skin and husky voice with a slight stutter. I love my straight, silky hair. I love my eyes and lips. I love my hips that most certainly don’t lie. I love my big bubble butt and I certainly cannot lie anymore about it. I love my new found confidence. I love my adventurous spirit. I love my streak of curiosity to get to the bottom of things and get the whole cat out of the bag. I love putting on makeup not to hide my flaws but to celebrate my all. I love my femininity. I love the reader, interpreter and writer in me. I love the daughter, mother, wife, sister, daughter in law and friend in me. I love the teacher in me. I love the natural conversationalist and ‘people’s person’ in me. I love the kind old soul in me. I love the ´champion of underdogs´ avatar of me. I love the ´ready to take on the world´ challenger in me. I love the cook in me. I love the artist in me. I love the flirt in me. I love the clown in me. I love the wanderlust in me I love the ‘dance like no one’s watching me’ me. I love the cry baby in me. I love the girl and woman in me. I love the devil in me. I love the angel in me. I love the liberation of letting go… of matching up and tying up with my self worth to worldly standards of the acceptable… including Beauty.
Beauty is thankfully, not about angles or curves anymore.
Beauty is Affirmation.
Amen!
´Taking joy in living is a woman´s best cosmetic´- Rosalind Russell
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Published here earlier.
Image source: shutterstock
Author, poet, and marketer, know more about Tina Sequeira here: www.thetinaedit.com read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
Please enter your email address