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We often try to avoid pain by getting numb. But you will feel alive only when you experience that pain and let it resolve to cleanse you of it its effects.
I have been in pain since a week now. Severe excruciating pain! Ear pain to be precise. The reason for getting an ear infection still unknown. I neglected the pain for a week but then Sunday night it became unbearable and we went to the Urgent Care.
After the initial medication, I was still in severe pain but refused to have painkillers as I don’t like taking painkillers knowing the damage they do to your body. Tuesday morning, no change, and I took an Advil as the pain was beyond bearable. The pain didn’t subside and I popped another Advil. We went to the Urgent Care again, where the doctor gave me a local anaesthesia to reduce the pain!
Oh boy! How relieved I felt after that dose of anesthesia. My ear became numb and there was no feeling at all in the ear. My nerves calmed down and I had almost reached heaven! And yet, the irony was that in an attempt to not feel the pain, I had stopped feeling my ear too! I did not feel my ear at all and it was if a part of my body was cut off! This very incident brought back so many life stories to me!
I remembered the time when my grandfather died and I had denied being sad about his death. I kept on telling myself that he had a peaceful death and we all should be happy about it that he was not bedridden during his last moments. I refused to feel the pain by applying the anesthesia of denial and my positive attitude until a point where it all became very toxic! My body and mind needed a vent out and I was denying it by applying the balm of positivity. It did not work and I finally collapsed. I cried, I cried a lot holding my dad and let all that grief strike me at once. I finally allowed the melancholy of pain to take over me.
I remembered the time when a friend betrayed me and I behaved as if nothing had happened and everything was just fine! I went on with my life as usual until the betrayal started eroding me from inside. I had to erase the effect of the ‘everything is fine’ anesthesia and go and confront the friend. I did that and that numb part inside me came live again.
I remembered the time, when a renowned magazine rejected my writing. I took on the ‘My writing is too good for them’ pill and did not feel the pain of rejection. I stopped writing for a while telling myself my writing is too good for the earthly people, until it started suffocating me. I had to remove the blinds and accept the fact that my writing needs improvement. I felt the pain of rejection and started working towards making my writing better. I then felt liberated.
Many a times, we do exactly the same. Shut off pain from our lives and get numb. But you will feel alive only when u experience that pain! Don’t let anesthesia numb your body along with the pain, feel the pain and evolve!
Feel the melancholy of pain and free yourself!
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Published here earlier.
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Hi! I am a certified holistic life coach from the University of Wellness, West Virginia. I am also a certified angel card reader, an energy healer, a spiritual teacher, an avid reader, a natural writer read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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