Donate to the Kerala Relief Operations as lakhs of people are being displaced due to the massive floods.
Join ambitious women at 5 cities, Pune, Panjim, Hyderabad, Coimbatore & Kolkata at #BreakingBarriers!
A man who cooks regularly for you can be an extremely attractive man. Ask those women whose men are adept in the kitchen!
Since childhood, my family would chant praises of my inclination towards cooking. Not because I poured hours creating my version of the classic recipes. Not because I was capable of stirring out tasty meals even with limited ingredients. But because my love for cooking spelled I’ll win my would-be’s heart in the matter of a meal.
After all, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. Isn’t it?
As a 10-year-old, I couldn’t put a finger on what irked me, but I wasn’t happy with the idea of a man loving me simply because I could feed him delicious food day after day. As I grew, so did my worries. If the popular saying held any truth, to win my man’s affection and to have it last a lifetime, I needed to have my head in the pot and fingers in the dough all my life. This didn’t appeal to me despite having the advantage of both an inclination to cook and the talent to ace it every single time.
Every time I voiced my concerns, my logic was dissed vociferously. But this resistance, this constant denial, didn’t stop me from finding a logical answer. Around 16 years of age, I made peace with my disturbing thoughts with the hope that maybe the answers will come rushing to me, the day I shall have a man in my life. When I finally tied the knot and set up a home of my own, in the back of my mind I was eager to test this age-old proverb.
Truth be told, I didn’t see any romantic effects of my cooking skills on my man. My cooking skills earned me plenty of friends and even won fans in my colleagues. But my marriage didn’t benefit much, with the exception of a compliment or two, once in a while at the dining table.
I dare say so because when my marriage fell apart, my culinary skills or my expertise in baking didn’t come to rescue. When my ex-husband parted ways, not even once, the thought of missing the food I cooked crossed his mind or made him act otherwise.
While many might argue that it is just a humorous proverb, I beg to differ.
Not only is this belief sexist, but at the same time, it inspires women to take up cooking enthusiastically with the false promise of winning affection from their man. It is instrumental in confining women to the kitchen. It lets women be judged based on their ability to cook. And worst of all, pressurizes women to master the art of cooking, whether they enjoy it or not.
When nudging women to cook for the sake of keeping the romance in their marriage alive doesn’t produce desired results, guilt-tripping them for not making ‘good enough’ wives and also mothers (in the future) does the needful.
On this note, I’d like to share with you an enlightening study by the researchers from Drexel University in Philadelphia, and the University of Pennsylvania published online in the journal Appetite.
“The study states that women were much more interested in romance on a full stomach than when they hadn’t eaten.”
From times immemorial, across cultures, food, and romantic rewards have been closely intertwined. This proves that just like men, the way to a woman’s heart is through a well-fed stomach.
Shouldn’t this be reason enough for men to take up the initiative to step in the kitchen and help with cooking?
Shouldn’t every man who cares for his wife, happily share the workload in the kitchen on a daily basis?
But the convenience of twiddling thumbs, working hard browsing the TV channels while the wife toils in the kitchen, blaming it all on societal norms is too convenient to let go in a patriarchal set-up.
It needn’t be so.
The scene is changing with more and more men indulging in cooking daily. But the pace of this change is too slow to be considered noteworthy.
When everyone stays happier when fed a good meal, it is safe to say, cooking food should be a responsibility of everyone in the family. And when that meal is prepared with love and help from both the spouses, I am sure the results are sure to be a hit in the long run.
So, if you’re a woman, you can now encourage the men in the household to work in the kitchen enlightening them with the findings of this research.
And if you are a man, why were you waiting until Valentine’s Day? Make your way to your woman’s heart by getting into the kitchen and helping her. And while you are at it, don’t forget to bank on the magic of a dessert to hit that sweet spot in her heart.
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Image source: vimeo
Megha Mathur is a freelance writer, voracious reader, amateur photographer and a passionate home-cook
Breaking Gender Stereotypes, Starting With My Little Boy’s Favourite Kitchen Set
Why Cooking With My Husband Is So Stressful
I Am A Closet Feminist Most Of The Time, But Sometimes Battles Need To Be Picked!
A Letter About The Importance Gender Equality From A Father To His Son [#Father’sDaySpecial]
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Sign in/Register & Get personalised recommendations