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From blaming women's clothes to Western culture for the recent harassment of women in Bengaluru, our politicians are shaming the country with their misogynistic statements.
From blaming women’s clothes to Western culture for the recent harassment of women in Bengaluru, our politicians are shaming the country with their misogynistic statements.
My best friend’s daughter recently got a job in Saudi Arabia. “How can you allow your daughter to go to Saudi Arabia ? Don’t you know women are treated like second rate citizens there?” I fumed. It was beyond my imagination as to how could an educated mother send her young daughter to Saudi Arabia for a job.
My friend replied calmly, “If she was working in Delhi or any other city in India, I wouldn’t be able to sleep at night but I know she will be safe in Saudi. No man will dare misbehave with her.”
Today, women are in the boardrooms, in space, factories, and even in the armed forces but irrespective of their status, strata and education, they aren’t safe on the roads; not even on the streets outside their house.
One more incident of molestation, one more blood-boiling statement blaming the victim’s western attire for the offensive act. I don’t know which is worse – the indecent act or the disgusting statement. As though Karnataka Home Minister G Parameshwara’s victim-blaming was not enough, Samajwadi party leader Abu Azmi too believes that women who don’t obey the rules of ‘Indian culture’ (i.e. wear short skirts) will face such attacks.
Damn! Does groping and molesting women conform to the Indian culture? Not a word on how men are expected to behave.
First it was Delhi and now it is Bengaluru which have brought shame to India. It is spreading like some kind of contagious disease. I can’t say if the crime against women is actually increasing in number or whether more incidents now come to light.
25 years ago when during exams I used to study at night until the wee hours, in between cramming the boring lessons, it was a common practice for the students to take short breaks by having a quick stroll on the street. In the April heat, we looked forward to stepping out of the house even for just a while to soak in some cool breeze. A ten minute walk in the quiet of the night was refreshing enough to glue me back to my books for another couple of hours. The street opposite our house in Sector 22 in Chandigarh was dimly lit as some of the bulbs would always be fused and I clearly remember in the dead of the night, dressed in my night clothes, I used to be the only one on the road engrossed in my thoughts, marching from one end to another, while my parents slept inside peacefully.
On those days, it was a ritual in summers for most families to have an after dinner stroll on the street. People indulged in the simple joy of walking on the roads. ‘Those days’ were just 25 years ago but it feels like another era, a different world altogether when women felt safe on the roads. When I narrate the stories of ‘our times’ to my sons, they ask me, eyebrows raised in awe, “You used to go for walks alone? On the road? At midnight?”
Fast forward to the present time. After dinner strolls at night – alone or with a companion are unheard of for the fear of not only molesters but also of stray dogs, chain snatchers and thugs.
Nowhere are there statements from ministers or anyone in power that we need to put a leash on perverts. Punish the criminal and not the victim. Every time such an incident happens, men with a misogynist mentality give disgusting statements and further shame the country.
Are we saying that it’s okay to molest a woman? There are also no statements demanding better law and order, or more stringent laws which could deter men. There are only statements on how women should dress up, how they shouldn’t venture out alone at night.
While the media goes all out while reporting such incidents, when the culprits get caught too, the media need to follow up, and report with the same fervour about the punishment meted out to them, publish their photographs to let public know about those men who shame their entire gender.
Are women public property that they can be groped at anyone’s free will? Do they need to be dictated on how to dress up, do they need to be told where to go and at what time to go? Disgraceful! Unacceptable!
It’s time to get it straight, it’s time to fight it out.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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