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A single woman is discriminated against even in a liberal and cosmopolitan city like Mumbai, as she is seen to be deviating from societal norms.
When an old friend told me that she was shifting to the same city as me – Mumbai, I rejoiced. As she was shifting from Delhi, I acted smug about how much safer and free my city was. However, when her house hunt started to turn into a nightmare, I was forced to eat my own words.
She must have seen at least 20 houses and was turned down for reasons which ranged from absurd to hilarious. Though we would like to think that we are a cosmopolitan city, the truth is – our thinking, when it comes to single girls, is still from medieval ages.
My friend is not the only single woman who is facing this issue. A city which prides itself on being a safe city for women refuses to give them a home for the following reasons:
This was told to us by a middle aged aunty who was the housing society secretary and was letting us know why we were being turned down. I could understand, after all a single woman would teach young girls to pursue higher studies, get a good job and be independent. At a young impressionable age, they may learn to live life on their own terms.
I take these comments personally. Why are only single women allowed to have wild parties? Why can’t we old married ladies have them too? And what exactly are ‘wild parties’? Are a set of young professionals getting together and maybe having a drink together considered wild? I agree, that at times there are parties thrown by people which are loud and goes on till wee hours, but there is no research showing that only single people throw such parties.
Once again this is absurd. If a young single woman does have friends over – boys or girls, why should that matter? She is inviting people to her home. And once the doors are closed, what happens behind the closed door is their business.
As I said, absurd!
When she did finally manage to get a house which matched our requirements and was within her cost range, she was told unceremoniously that she needed to have our parents to sign the agreement with the landlord. Her parents who live far away would have to spend a fortune to get here to sign and then figure out accommodation as they will not have the house as soon as the papers are signed.
Since my friend is an amateur guitarist, she had her guitar during one such house hunt. As soon as the society secretary saw it, he refused to even let us see the house claiming that musicians were noisy. It made me wonder if all musicians throw impromptu concerts in their home, hence making them noisy?
My friend has completed a month in the city, and still not found a house. Her only fault is that she is a single working woman. I am aware that single boys also face similar issues. This problem is also not limited to Mumbai but most of the cities across India.
Why do we have such a strong bias against individuals who for good reasons of their own want to journey through a part of their life alone? Why should everyone follow the same pattern that has been set by society, and if they dare to deviate from it, face ostracism?
Let’s be liberal and free our minds from the shackles of old age thinking.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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