Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
In many parts of India, parents have a menstruation ceremony to announce a girl's fertility. But the practice is not exactly period-positive.
In many parts of India, parents have a menstruation ceremony to announce a girl’s fertility. But the practice is not exactly period-positive.
I was 13 when I got my first period. Since talking about periods is blasphemy, my mother never prepared me for it. When ‘it’ finally happened, I was shocked and curious. But instead of answering my questions, I was told that there will be a menstruation ceremony to celebrate the ‘milestone’.
Before I could understand what was happening to me, my parents started inviting relatives and friends to a menstruation ceremony. The interesting thing about the menstruation ceremony was that nobody used the words ‘period’ or ‘menstruation’. Instead, people had a code word: Everybody said I was now ‘mature’.
I was decorated from head to toe with ornaments like a bride. Men and women would bless me and I had to look happy throughout the ceremony.
This might sound like a period-positive party but I felt ashamed. I was also confused because of the contradictory messages given by my parents and the society. On one hand, my mother would talk about pads and menstrual blood in hushed tones but on the other hand, my fertility was celebrated publicly. I had to hide pads and period stains but my extended family and friends had to know that I had started menstruating. While my puberty was celebrated, I was forbidden from touching any idols of Gods and Goddesses or entering the puja room.
Nobody asked me if I wanted to be a part of the event but they told me that I was now a ‘grown up’. Is my menstruation cycle a private thing? Or is it a public thing?
It is only now that I realize that the foundation of the ceremony was patriarchal. The event was not to celebrate periods but to tell the world that I can ‘produce’ babies. It was also a signal that my parents, my relatives and the society had a right over my body and its processes. I was ‘mature’ but the decisions about the milestones in my life and whether or not I should be celebrating them were still taken by my parents.
Society wanted me to believe that my worth as a woman is dependent on motherhood and it was preparing me for the role of the mother. I also realized that society was not exactly disgusted with the idea of me having periods (the celebration was the proof of this).
The stigma around menstruation is, in fact, a strategy to shame women. Society is okay with men urinating in open but only when it comes to menstrual blood does society starts worrying about ‘hygiene’.
The ceremony made me feel powerless and I developed a menstruation phobia. Thinking about it still gives me nightmares but thanks to numerous period-positive campaigns on social media and feminist literature, I’m trying to look at menstruation without fear and shame.
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Image source: shutterstock
Feminist. Autodidact. Introvert. Highly Sensitive Person. Optimist. Bookworm. Spiritual Seeker. read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address