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We are usually surrounded by destructive criticism, and this can bring us down. To be really successful in life, it is necessary to be able to deal with this.
Humans fear criticism more than cancer.
The dictionary defines criticism as a form of expressing disapproval regarding something living or non-living. People criticize others or get criticized regarding their work, lifestyle, habits and many other things. The ability of a person to handle criticism is a big determinant of their future.
Criticism can be classified in two ways:
Constructive criticism: Opinions expressed with the right intention and presented in the right manner that encourage a person to aim for self-improvement.
Destructive criticism: Opinions improperly expressed that denigrate and discourage a person from doing something out-of-the-ordinary or improving themselves.
While constructive criticism (which helps us grow) is usually offered by the select few closest to us or those who are enlightened, it is destructive criticism that we usually encounter that prevents us from moving forward in our lives. As women, in fact, we are most subjected to destructive criticism, the extreme cases of which can be mansplaining, gaslighting, and gossip.
It is important, therefore, to be able to handle this destructive criticism in our lives. The art of soldiering on despite destructive criticism is a key component to success in life. This art can be mastered by learning how to confidently handle criticism.
How do we do this?
Good mental strength is a huge confidence building tool which enables easy handling of destructive criticism. The best way to improve your confidence and mental strength is by increasing your knowledge and improving your already-existing skills. This can be relevant both at the workplace and in the home.
Newly acquired knowledge and skills will provide you with the necessary weapons to tackle any kind of situation with confidence. Knowledge helps to counter and disable the negative critical comments provided by the opposing individual. Such difficult situations can be turned into conquests when dealt with the requisite knowledge and skills. Every conquest increases your mental strength and confidence by leaps and bounds.
Body language is a key indicator of your confidence quotient to people you meet. The body language of a person indicates whether they are oozing with confidence or down in the dumps. The future of any kind of meeting or deal negotiation is dependent on the kind of body language exhibited by all parties involved.
Some of the most common indicators of confident body language are:
Destructive criticism is generously dispensed by people with the intention to intimidate or scare others. Such people use intimidation as a cover for their own underlying insecurities. Many people mistake this intimidating attitude for confidence and cower down or get discouraged.
The best way to incapacitate such intimidators is by appearing unaffected by their comments. Continue maintaining uninterrupted eye contact with them despite the derogatory comments they have made. Avoid replying immediately and take a deep breath as this will buy some time in which you can collect your thoughts and correctly process what you have just heard. Your silence is the best way to incapacitate them as they expect you to have some kind of knee-jerk reaction like getting upset or even crying and stomping out of the room.
Once you have regained your composure and mentally formulated your reply, start speaking slowly in measured tones and this will disarm the intimidator as he will be caught completely unawares. A diametrically opposite reaction to the one they expected is enough for them to concede defeat. It is quite likely that they will think twice before trying to intimidate you once again.
A whole new world can be conquered by simply incapacitating these destructively criticizing intimidators who are the biggest hindrances in your confidence-building journey. Once this form of criticism fails to have an impact on you, SKY IS THE LIMIT.
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I am a management grad with experience in banking and customer service. Currently I am a full time mother to 2 boys aged 9 and 5 read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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