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To Be Or Not To Be Judgemental? Think Again If You Are Bothered By This Question

Posted: December 18, 2016
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People around us sometimes come as surprises. This is because we all have a tendency to be judgemental about others on the basis of their outward appearances and acts.

Sometime back my husband’s friend, who is otherwise a very busy professional, called up requesting my husband to accompany him. He took my husband to an animal adoption center, where he had handed over a few puppies of a stray dog. On the puppies not being around, the mother dog was in an emotional turmoil and she kept wailing. Unable to see her pain, my husband’s friend took efforts to reunite the mother with her puppies. He sent her to the same adoption house. Just to make sure that everything was fine and the offspring were doing good with their mother, he personally took out time from his busy schedule to visit the adoption center. The veterinary doctor had given injections to both puppies and mother. The mother was relaxed having her puppies beside her.

Our kind friend was relieved and felt peace at the sight of the little ones in their mothers fold. This person, who doesn’t even have time for himself, owing to his busy schedules, kept aside things just to comfort the wailing animal who had no language to express herself.

Sometimes we label people as busy and practical, but somewhere, deep down, there are emotions that are kindled. Human beings act out of these emotions. We tend to generalize views and judge people, without knowing them and without trying to accept them just the way they are.

The other day, I was removing the clutter in my home. I took out an old pair of shoes and sandals that belonged to my five year old son. I wanted to give it away to someone needy, as they didn’t fit him anymore.

My son, like any other child, is possessive about his stuff. He asked me why I was giving away his footwear to someone else. I tried to make him understand that as he could not use them anymore, we could make some other little boy happy, who didn’t have shoes. But, my son came up with another question, as to why couldn’t his parents buy it for him from a shop. I was a bit taken aback, but I tried to make sense to him, by telling that his parents might not be having enough money. Hence, they cannot buy it. At this moment, my five year boy said that parents always have money for their little children. They can always buy things for their kids. I couldn’t answer this time. I let him go to play but my mind was occupied. Children can hold a strong belief in parents. Here, parents are not being judged, but it’s a faith innocent children have, that nothing can go wrong with parents.

I guess I learnt my lesson to not to be judgemental. We can put our faith, trust and love in people. Being judgemental spoils the innocence of  the bond in a relationship. We humans evaluate what we see only. But the real essence lies in connecting with people without trying to label them. In between generalities, every person has a uniqueness. Acceptance is a blissful way to appreciate others. Loving becomes easier when we accept people and not judge them. When we start judging, expectations follow.

It is very difficult to separate love and expectations in a relationship. As we grow up we forget to love like a child. We lose that innocence to trust and believe in our love. We become analytical towards a relationship. This sometimes spoils the beauty and soothing feeling of being loved or to love.We never try to see beyond the way a particular person acts.

For example, a teacher may be very strict, probably because of a stressful atmosphere in her home. Or there might be a whole lot of loneliness in a person’s life, yet he may be the one who tries to laugh a lot and makes others laugh. A teenager’s rebellious attitude may be his or her frustration due of peer pressure. Youngsters have to keep so many distractions away, to carve a niche for themselves as per society’s parameters of success. Taking a pause and trying to understand the struggle that each person might be facing on the personal front, could help us prevent stamping our judgement on them.

Humanity has different traits. We will be a more blessed race if we learn to accept the other person without tagging a label that stereotypes. Life is beautiful and not as complicated as we make it.

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Bhavna Gajbe

Bhavna Gajbe

I am a law graduate, but right now enjoying being home maker and a doting mom to my five year old son. I like to write, expressions through words as words in itself are soul to our thinking. Reaching out, sharing my thoughts and always trying to learn.


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  1. Jaishree

    Well Said Bhavna!! But being judgemental is the most easiest thing to do and hence the most followed one. It is much easy to just go on and assume things rather than think from another perspective. Agreed that the world would be a much better place if we stopped being judgemental.

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