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Lose 10 Kgs Of Self Loathing, Gain 20 Kgs Of Self Love

Posted: December 9, 2016
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Body image issues, plastic surgery, designer bodies, constant scrutiny – no wonder young women today are do not experience any self love!

This is not an ad. Certainly not, but don’t you think there needs to be a business like that? One which sells self-confidence and optimism? Because as I look around me, there seems to be a severe deficit of both.

Consider the headlines which have been doing the rounds:
1. Young actress commits suicide because of depression.
2. Homosexual couple fears social isolation and jumps to death.
3. 13-year-olds willing to undergo liposuction to lose their ‘fat‘.
4. Peer pressure leads to a growth in ‘fad’ diets.

It’s not very happy news, is it?

Which reminds me of an incident I witnessed just yesterday, that actually prompted me to write this post. As I took Patch, my Pooch, for his evening walk, I came across a young girl (not more than 20) standing outside a shop, which advertised ‘designer bodies‘.

Wait, what? Designer bodies? What was this?

Here were the services they offered…
Lip Reconstruction
Nose realignment
Tummy Tuck
Eye Shape Enhancement
Brain Replacement
blah blah blah.

Ok. I made the last one up for obvious reasons. You can’t replace what you don’t have, can you?

So anyway, coming back to this girl, she was dressed like a normal youngster – leotard leggings, tank top, sunglasses but with the addition of a scarf with which she covered her head.

As I looked closely, she was grimacing. I think she was in pain. There was a small crowd outside the ‘designer body shop‘ and something seemed to be amiss.

The girl took off her sunglasses for a minute and wiped her eyes, as gently as possible and put them back on, as quickly as possible. But those few seconds gave me a peek of the truth.

The pretty girl, to my horror, had dark purple swellings, the size of well-fed adult leaches, beneath both her eyes. How I wish now, that I could un-see that image. But the damage was already done. To say that I was horrified, is putting it rather mildly.

Overhearing her conversation with her friends outside the shop, I understood that it was some ‘procedure‘ which had gone amiss. She probably had gone in for some eye-reshaping surgery and things had gone completely awry.

I think her complete career and face was ruined. I can’t imagine this happening to anyone. Even more, I can’t imagine anyone actually bringing this upon themselves.

Obviously, there is something wrong which we are teaching our children, nowadays.

  • Outer appearances are more important than inner character.
  • Marks are more important than learning.
  • Size is more important than fitness.
  • Public relations are more important than talent.

I could go on. But you get the point.

I have a little girl who is on the brink of her teens and I shudder to think what will happen if she looks into the mirror and begins to shame her own self.

Why are we trying to seek approval from others? An overweight person spends hours to lose weight, not for health reasons but just to look ‘good‘.

Imagine, if there is a dancer, writer, painter, marketeer inside this person, and if the person concentrated on becoming a better dancer, writer, painter or marketeer, she will have a very different story to script when she gets down to writing her autobiography.

I’m not for once saying that let yourself go, or be overweight, or don’t exercise. What I am only trying to say is that we have to consciously dig deeper and make the best of our best talent, love ourselves at the present moment, no matter how we look or dress. It’s so important to feel absolutely fabulous, each and every minute of your life.

Lack of confidence in your own body as well as talent will lead you to make disastrous life choices, allowing people to shame you, walk all over you and ultimately, destroy your soul to the extent that one day, you will walk to your window and fling yourself to your death – or hang yourself with your favourite dupatta.

Reminds me of a conversation I once had with a young boy – a lovely teenager, filled with confidence.
Me: Hey, how much did you score in your HSC?
He: I got 46 %.
Me: (A bit aghast) Oh ok. What did your mom have to say?
He: What will she say? They are my marks and I completely earned them on my own merit! They are a fruit of my hard work.
Saying thus, he walked along his way, with a guitar on his back and a whistle on his lips.

I was amused and at the same time, totally pleased with this boy. I am sure, of all the kids I have met, this boy will certainly amount to something in his life. His parents must have done something right to give him that sort of confidence.

And that’s why, I seriously think that if someone advertised a business selling confidence, happiness and self-love, all parents should begin to send their young kids there. Because losing 10 kilos ain’t going to give you confidence. Making the best of what you already have, being yourself, honing and sharpening those skills, and presenting them with elan and confidence, that’s what will get you there.

And then it won’t matter if you have the perfect dress or are the perfect size, with the perfect eyes. All that will matter is you. And the love you have for yourself – it’s the only thing which will get you anywhere.

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Published here earlier.

Image Source: pixabay

Sunila Karir

I write because I love to express myself through words. And I am a communicator. I run an advertising agency where we combine creative expression and try to add a sheen to the brands we advertise for. Once upon a time, my words failed me and I took a break to become a professional jeweller. So I qualified as a diamond grader and ran my own business for a while where I also picked up the skill of handcrafting beaded jewellery. But my pen called to me once more and I returned back to the writing table. Because at the end of it all, the one legacy I want to leave behind, is that of one who spun some fine stories.


Author's Blog: http://www.sunilakarir.com

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