Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Body image issues, plastic surgery, designer bodies, constant scrutiny - no wonder young women today are do not experience any self love!
Body image issues, plastic surgery, designer bodies, constant scrutiny – no wonder young women today are do not experience any self love!
This is not an ad. Certainly not, but don’t you think there needs to be a business like that? One which sells self-confidence and optimism? Because as I look around me, there seems to be a severe deficit of both.
Consider the headlines which have been doing the rounds: 1. Young actress commits suicide because of depression. 2. Homosexual couple fears social isolation and jumps to death. 3. 13-year-olds willing to undergo liposuction to lose their ‘fat‘. 4. Peer pressure leads to a growth in ‘fad’ diets.
It’s not very happy news, is it?
Which reminds me of an incident I witnessed just yesterday, that actually prompted me to write this post. As I took Patch, my Pooch, for his evening walk, I came across a young girl (not more than 20) standing outside a shop, which advertised ‘designer bodies‘.
Wait, what? Designer bodies? What was this?
Here were the services they offered… Lip Reconstruction Nose realignment Tummy Tuck Eye Shape Enhancement Brain Replacement blah blah blah.
Ok. I made the last one up for obvious reasons. You can’t replace what you don’t have, can you?
So anyway, coming back to this girl, she was dressed like a normal youngster – leotard leggings, tank top, sunglasses but with the addition of a scarf with which she covered her head.
As I looked closely, she was grimacing. I think she was in pain. There was a small crowd outside the ‘designer body shop‘ and something seemed to be amiss.
The girl took off her sunglasses for a minute and wiped her eyes, as gently as possible and put them back on, as quickly as possible. But those few seconds gave me a peek of the truth.
The pretty girl, to my horror, had dark purple swellings, the size of well-fed adult leaches, beneath both her eyes. How I wish now, that I could un-see that image. But the damage was already done. To say that I was horrified, is putting it rather mildly.
Overhearing her conversation with her friends outside the shop, I understood that it was some ‘procedure‘ which had gone amiss. She probably had gone in for some eye-reshaping surgery and things had gone completely awry.
I think her complete career and face was ruined. I can’t imagine this happening to anyone. Even more, I can’t imagine anyone actually bringing this upon themselves.
Obviously, there is something wrong which we are teaching our children, nowadays.
I could go on. But you get the point.
I have a little girl who is on the brink of her teens and I shudder to think what will happen if she looks into the mirror and begins to shame her own self.
Why are we trying to seek approval from others? An overweight person spends hours to lose weight, not for health reasons but just to look ‘good‘.
Imagine, if there is a dancer, writer, painter, marketeer inside this person, and if the person concentrated on becoming a better dancer, writer, painter or marketeer, she will have a very different story to script when she gets down to writing her autobiography.
I’m not for once saying that let yourself go, or be overweight, or don’t exercise. What I am only trying to say is that we have to consciously dig deeper and make the best of our best talent, love ourselves at the present moment, no matter how we look or dress. It’s so important to feel absolutely fabulous, each and every minute of your life.
Lack of confidence in your own body as well as talent will lead you to make disastrous life choices, allowing people to shame you, walk all over you and ultimately, destroy your soul to the extent that one day, you will walk to your window and fling yourself to your death – or hang yourself with your favourite dupatta.
Reminds me of a conversation I once had with a young boy – a lovely teenager, filled with confidence. Me: Hey, how much did you score in your HSC? He: I got 46 %. Me: (A bit aghast) Oh ok. What did your mom have to say? He: What will she say? They are my marks and I completely earned them on my own merit! They are a fruit of my hard work. Saying thus, he walked along his way, with a guitar on his back and a whistle on his lips.
I was amused and at the same time, totally pleased with this boy. I am sure, of all the kids I have met, this boy will certainly amount to something in his life. His parents must have done something right to give him that sort of confidence.
And that’s why, I seriously think that if someone advertised a business selling confidence, happiness and self-love, all parents should begin to send their young kids there. Because losing 10 kilos ain’t going to give you confidence. Making the best of what you already have, being yourself, honing and sharpening those skills, and presenting them with elan and confidence, that’s what will get you there.
And then it won’t matter if you have the perfect dress or are the perfect size, with the perfect eyes. All that will matter is you. And the love you have for yourself – it’s the only thing which will get you anywhere.
Become a premium user on Women’s Web and get access to exclusive content for women, plus useful Women’s Web events and resources in your city.
Published here earlier.
Image Source: pixabay
I write because I love to express myself through words. And I am a communicator. I run an advertising agency where we combine creative expression and try to add a sheen to the brands we read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address