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Are you comfortable sharing non veg jokes or enjoy sexual innuendo conversations? Does that make you a loose woman, no matter what anyone might think?
Movies generally are seen as a source of entertainment, but once in a while there are certain movies which are thought provoking. ‘Pink’ was surely one such kind of movie.
Much has been already said and written about this movie, hence I will not add more on it. But I would surely mention one particular scene in that movie which caught my attention and which inspired me to write this post. The scene in question is the one, where the prosecutor, played by Piyush Mishra, asks the victim i.e Tapsee Pannu to speak about a supposedly ‘non veg’ joke, that she had shared with the accused i.e Angad Bedi. The gist of the scene was that sharing of such jokes by women, with sexual innuendos, sends out the wrong signal to men.
For a split second, the scene made me look into my personal life. It made me think if, I too was sending out wrong signals, when I share such messages or, have such conversations. But brushing aside these thoughts, I moved on with the movie. The thought still persisted, and I did some introspection on it later.
With the advent of Whatsapp, a lot of jokes are generally passed among peers, colleagues, friends and family throughout the day. Sure enough, some of them would be the so-called non veg jokes kinds. At the age of 40+, you have generally seen it all and done it all. So when I have a conversation with sexual innuendos, or pass such a joke around, it generally means nothing, except spreading some spiced up humor. But for the younger generation, I am not sure, what the interpretation of such messages would be. Surely, I am not trying to imply that the younger generation would consider every such message as an invitation to end up in bed or likewise. There is no denying that sometimes things that are casually said or written could be considered as an indication for something else. Just to quote, “Texting is a wonderful way to mis-communicate how you feel and misinterpret what other people mean.”
The fact is that being a woman, I would not send such messages to all and sundry and neither would I have such conversations with every guy that I interact with. It just goes to prove that when I choose to interact with certain people, in this way, it is just because of the trust and the comfort level that I have with them. I am confident that such messages of mine will not be misinterpreted or read into in a different way, by these select few. By sending such messages, which have a sexual innuendo to it, it doesn’t necessarily imply that I am starved for sex or, that conversation gives me a certain high. Neither do I need to give these clarifications to those select people.
It all boils down to plain humour and the level of my friendliness with the receiver of such messages. A select few of my male friends too share the same opinion, that at this age, such conversations mean nothing. Just because they share jokes which have sexual innuendo, doesn’t mean that they end up doing it too. As a matter of fact, once they finish laughing over the joke, they probably won’t even remember it.
However, as mentioned earlier, I am not sure if the younger generation thinks alike or if they tend to take such messages to be an indication of something. There may still be a section in our society for whom such kinds of conversations or messages are a taboo. We still have instances where the family may seem modern in their actions, but the same family would be scandalized knowing that a girl keeps passing on such messages and having such conversations. To the extent, that her character becomes questionable too.
The subject of the messages on social media can never be an indicator of somebody’s character, nor can it be a reflection of that person’s upbringing. Engaging in such conversations does not make someone a sex maniac and neither does abstinence from it make someone a saint. If the people involved are honest and clear about their intentions, it is just a laughing matter. I am sure it is easier and safer to convey things directly and not use messages with sexual innuendos to indicate something. Such messages should be best treated as momentary fun and not as a proclamation or willingness for something. At this juncture, I would like to quote William Arthur Ward, “A well developed sense of humour is the pole that adds balance to your steps as you walk the tightrope of life.”
Let’s just spread humour. It doesn’t matter if they are through supposedly ‘non veg’ jokes. As long as it is taken in the right way and brings a smile on the faces of the people, that’s what matters. Don’t get me wrong, friends. I am not promoting the sexual innuendo conversations or jokes here. Please do it at your own risk, with the people you are comfortable with (no pun intended).
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A homemaker, mother of two, writer and blogger, who loves to travel and has a
Humour is a very essential part of our lives and helps us lighten up and take a break from the mundane grind of daily life. However, jokes of a sexual nature are slightly deeper than that. Essentially these jokes are treading into a private space (even often unconscious or consciously unacknowledged)of people’s lives choices and preferences. (Pretty much like jokes about religion) If the people sharing the jokes are exactly on the same page there would be no misunderstanding, but if they aren’t there is likely to be a lot of misreading of intent either by teller or listener. Since it appears Men are from Mars and women are from Venus as the tongue in cheek tag line goes- there’s a good chance men and women sharing these jokes actually see and hear different nuances in them. Besides, regardless of what we think we may be portraying publicly, people often speculate about our true private natures behind our backs, even in other areas. If you are really someone who doesn’t care what others think of you and you are certain people around you who matter to you also understand and are supportive of this choice, you may not face any issues. However, experience broadly shows that based on each one’s circumstances, emotional phases, cultural background etc. jokes of this nature may be both interpreted rightly or misinterpreted or misplaced either by the teller or listener or those who know you are happy sharing. So like you rightly say, this is one activity one should indulge in at one’s own risk. It’s a bit like going to a casino and having a go at a gamble. It can be real good fun…until it goes wrong!!
Totally agree with you Sonia… This kind of humour can be engaged only if there is a certain level of comfort and an absolute certainty that things will not be misunderstood. It totally depends on an individual but at the same time, nothing can be concluded out of it, simply because of such indulgence.
Hey Jaishree well written thought provoking blog dear. I am glad you have touched upon the most sensitive topic that every women is subjected too. Taking cue from the movie PINK and exposing the hypocrisy of our society through this topic was a very good idea. Any bold mediums of unwinding adopted by women, she is subjected to brutal character assassination…. One of the mediums could also be cracking non veg jokes. One of the lines from your blog which is so true and enlightening is …. The subject of the messages on social media can never be an indicator of somebody’s character, nor can it be a reflection of that person’s upbringing…..
Very interesting blog. Keep writing.
Thanks dear…. It is truly encouraging to get such a feedback.
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