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Dear Zindagi, through its nuanced character Kaira, played by Alia Bhatt, truly gets what its like to be a 20-something young Indian woman today. Here's why.
Dear Zindagi, through its nuanced character Kaira, played by Alia Bhatt, truly gets what its like to be a 20-something young Indian woman today. Here’s why.
As a young Indian woman in her twenties, the idea of her self worth being defined by marriage and her ability to get ‘good’ proposals by virtue of being a quiet,’ fair’ and ‘beautiful’ young girl is drilled into her from the get go; if not your parents then through some other entitled relative, but the idea will definitely worm its way into your head.
Watching the recent Alia Bhatt soul tickler Dear Zindagi was like seeing some chapters of my life being etched on the silver screen. I am sure every 20 year old watching the movie would have identified with parts, if not the whole of the well defined character that Alia Bhatt plays (Kaira).
The therapist played by Shah Rukh Khan (Jug) would possibly be a dream version of a therapist but there are pearls of wisdom that you feel you could have heard sooner especially when as a young girl you are put through a blender of societal expectations, with your career, your sexuality and your worth placed into small non-negotiable boxes that you are supposed to tick according to a predetermined time line.
For a young Indian girl who has completed her education and possibly foraying into a career if her guardians so desire, the pressure to also toe the line of being a virginal, non-sexual, non-romantic but willing to magically submit to her husband is huge.
It is confusing at the very least because your life partner cold be an individual that you are not supposed to select, and this is detrimental to where your life is headed. This is more so for young women than for men as it has the potential to decide everything from what you will wear for the rest of your life to where you will live and what opportunities you can explore. Imagine living inside such a pressure cooker of expectations!
The scene where Kaira’s brother picks her up from the beach promenade as she storms out of the house after having a breakdown in front of her parents and relatives touches very close to home. However, the realization that parents are just people who are bowing down to peer pressure and expectations is a realization that both Kaira and yours truly arrived at after some pain. Also the realization that your sibling, no matter how wacky, can be a shoulder for you as he/she ‘gets’ you, having shared the same set of parents.
Another noteworthy scene is the dream sequence that shows Kaira being ridiculed by married women. This is a very nuanced and well thought out scene as it echoes with many young girls who are convinced by society everyday that their true worth is determined by the partner they marry. Their career, their talent is all secondary to that. So much so that women working towards the perfect marriage and their future husband is normalized in the stories we read and the images we see around us.
The movie tugs at the heart strings of any young woman who is at the phase where there is no long term romantic prospect in sight but feels that her entire future rides on this one mystery man who will define her entire being. Which brings me to another pearl of wisdom that the movie throws open which is, why should this one relationship bear the burnt of so many other relationships all rolled into one such that the expectations out of this one relationship are debilitating from the start?
The film is a positive heart-rending honest story and finally, a movie made through the female lens. (Goa visitors playing kabaddi with the sea is the only negative that I find as an afterthought, just like Kuch Kuch Hota Hai gave us girls with head bands storming basket ball courts!)
Top image via hdwallpapers.in
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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