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So What Is Your Definition Of Beauty, Really?

Posted: October 2, 2016
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So what is your definition of beauty? Fair skin, lustrous hair, great figure, or confidence, good health, and determination to be a good human being?

I have a very nagging habit of asking anyone and everyone about “What is that one thing which impresses you the most in a woman?” and to my surprise the responses have ranged from fair skin to long lustrous hair to slender figure and flawless complexion, but not many believe in responding to this question with answers not related to physical appearance! Some of my male acquaintances have been open enough to point out that physical assets of a woman are much more interesting than her face or hair as that’s what attracts them the most.

I have grown up learning that ‘beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder‘. In that case as most of the beholders prefer restricting the beauty to physical appearance, I wonder if beauty is actually skin deep! This also makes me ponder over the contradictions in both these quotes!

It’s said that your face is a reflection of your feelings. There have been times when I have been sad, unhappy and hurt, and no matter how much makeup I apply, the fine lines of sadness and anxiety have always been evident, every time I have looked at myself into the mirror. These are the times when I have not felt beautiful even if the face powders has got me just the right shade of fairness; the mascara has made me have the best eyelashes to envy for; the bright pink lipstick has made my lips the perfect set anyone can wish for but yet I don’t feel beautiful.

What is beauty? Beauty isn’t what we look at in the mirror, it isn’t what we can buy in creams and gels by shelling out some money, it isn’t what the most famous fashion designers ask us to wear. Beauty is the sense you feel deep inside you no matter whether you are ‘fair’ or ‘dark’, no matter whether you are wearing makeup or not, no matter whether you are fat or slender!

Beauty, instead is the pride, the confidence that’s brimming in you. It’s the feeling that you get when you help people around you and they in return give you the brightest smile possible as you support them to resolve their issues!

In this ‘modern’ era, when ‘not so beautiful’ woman are achieving the most in their life, isn’t it needed for us to realize that girls should not be judged by their beauty!

‘Beauty’ by the definition we have grown up with, is God gifted, we don’t have much of a control in deciding our complexion. It’s a complex game of the genes playing around and deciding our physical appearance.

‘Beauty’ by the definition in not being skin deep, is something that we can inculcate within us, something that we can control and enhance further. Beauty lies in our confident steps, our achievements, our generosity, our head held high irrespective of how we look!

Silicones can give us the best breast implants but do they also help us give a golden heart? Instead they would give us an extra dose of being egoist and smug over a figure which is just a result of some surgeries! How hypocritical of us to consider God being the greatest, and then tampering with his gifts by applying cream, wearing makeup and undergoing surgeries because the society terms it as ‘ugly’!

Wouldn’t it be a great world to live in, when parents stop worrying about their daughter’s complexion and instead spend the same amount of energy to give their girl a pair of wings to soar high in the sky irrespective of their complexion or physical appearance?

When it’s more important for a daughter in law to be successful and confident than being fair and slender?

When we stop worrying about our pimple marks but rather show them off with an air of pride and confidence because pimples don’t define our beauty?

Isn’t it unfair to teach our children that only fair is beautiful? How sad of us to make our children mug up the rhyme “Chubby cheeks, dimple chins, rosy lips” and feeding onto them at such a tender age that only ‘beautiful’ kids can become mother’s pet or a teacher’s pet!

While I still continue with my quest of understanding the rationale behind beauty being skin deep, I would request you all to try not to limit beauty to a pack of creams, makeup boxes and branded dresses, but a combination of confidence, determination, hardship, success, failure, achievements, independence, that can’t be bought by shelling out some pennies!

Image source: shutterstock

Poulamee Pande

Poulamee Pande

Hi, I am Poulamee Pande, Clinical Data Manager by profession but not confined to my cubicle. When I am not working, I love writing about some of the orthodox societal norms, this is just a small step in making this society a much better place for the next generations to come. I love travelling and would love to share my experiences as well 🙂


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14 Comments


  1. Poulamee Pande…You are Beautiful!!

    • Poulamee Pande
      Poulamee Pande -

      Thank you for reading and loving the article. I am sure all of us are beautiful in our own way 🙂

  2. Nicely written article…Beauty lies within!!!

  3. Really very nice and thoughtful experience shared by you Poulamee.. Keep it up

  4. Beautifully defined <3

  5. What a wonderful way to describe beauty..your thoughts are beautiful…wish people would think in a similar manner.. wat an amazing world it would be without the complications of pretense.. way to go girl!

    • Poulamee Pande
      Poulamee Pande -

      Thank you for liking my article. It’s a small step taken to change some of the societal norms and make it a beautiful world!

  6. Wow! Wonderful right up! Simple words yet very impactful message sending across to millions of people who don’t know the real meaning of beauty. I am extremely happy for you ‘Pou’.. You are a great asset as a CDM and as an author too.. Keep writing and inspiring. Take care!!!

  7. Juniya Indrejith -

    So well said Poulamee… it really took me a lot to accept the dark skin I was blessed with while growing up between the so called beautiful kids…

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