My lovelies, I will keep it short. Those of you who are married, I hope you didn’t make the mistakes I did. And the ones who are about to commit themselves to someone special, please learn from the mistakes of your seniors!
Looking back in time, I see so many things I should have done differently if I was a bit smarter. Alas! My time is gone, but the regrets stay. (As an aside, I am a pro-wedding person, I advocate getting married. Like everyone should, at least once in your lifetime! I believe I can convince any kind of person to believe in holy matrimony…)
But coming back to the point, think, think aloud, and discuss with your partner as to what makes you happy. Really happy.
The wedding dress
The most hyped commodity of any wedding shopping trip. The benchmark of your social status. The epitome of glorification for any bride. This, my dear is going to be number 1 on my ‘Regret I bought this’ list. No matter how justified it seems to buy this garment right before your wedding, you’ll curse yourself for being such a fool later. You will want to ask your mother why she didn’t she stop you and make a list of countless other things you could have done now with that kind of money. Remember, its your day. And if you are happy to settle down with the man of your dreams, you will look pretty. A designer garment won’t make a difference.
The moment I open my cupboard, even after 6 years post my wedding, I see all those sarees and salwar suits and think, “What was I thinking!” Let’s be honest, our fashion industry is super dynamic. They just can’t seem to make up their minds as to which length of suit or what kind of pants should be in vogue this very season. Palazzos, anarkalis, salwars, pyjamas, pants, dhotis. Mid length, ankle length, knee length – it just gets confusing. So everything you bought during your wedding shopping is literally out of fashion by the time you get married.
Shoes and bags
Repeat after me. I don’t need 20 pair of shoes right now. Pink, purple, beige, black, burgundy, white, golden, silver, copper. Stilettoes, wedge, block, flat, platform, gladiator. I bought them all. And with time, forgot how many pairs I really own. Many of them didn’t even see the light of the day. In my intellectual moments, I question myself, “What was I imagining when I got those red block heels?”
Bags! Another crime a bride should be sued for is buying bags. Big bags, small bags, clutches, slings, backpacks. Why would a bride need a backpack? (Unless it is on a heavy discount, right?) Don’t fall for these sales. They are the devil disguised to entice you to sin and spend. They will come again. So hold your horses for now.
All make up has a shelf life of around a year. 365 days. And no matter how much of a go-getter you are, you can’t use all those 50 nail paints and 25 lip colours in that timespan. Not to forget the eye shadow and foundation. Until to plan to put it all on while going to the loo or kitchen.
Again, you won’t be size 6 forever. That pair of jeans and those Zara dresses will be a pain in your butt. Taunting you every time you lay your hands on something else larger sized in your wardrobe. Believe me, you will gain weight. The kind of dedication you have now to win this beauty pageant called the wedding won’t last forever. Don’t splurge. Please.
Lingerie and night dresses
I can sense so many of you nodding your heads. I am embarrassed. For my clan. These hollywood movies. They should refund our money. They never told us that after a gruelling day in the kitchen or office alike, you just want your pajamas. Not that fancy lacy crap that just doesn’t serve any purpose. They are so damn uncomfortable that we can’t wear them the entire day. And so tiny we don’t want to wear them at night. Then why buy them? Who sleeps in a sheer nighty and bikini panty?
I was super excited, and I wanted my wedding functions to last over a week atleast. Mehendi ceremony, sangeet ceremony, kirtans, cocktails, bangle ceremony, wedding. In the desire to have a Yash Raj wedding, I forgot that it’s my father’s hard earned money. And the universal truth, daddy can’t say no to his princess. Paraya dhan, you see. I wish I could change that.
What would I have done instead?
Travel. I would have honeymooned for two months. And for that you just need a few pair of jeans and t-shirts.
I would have opened a savings account and secured my future.
I would have taken just a few close friends and family to a pretty place and tied a knot. People to whom it actually made a difference that I am getting married. No offence, but close to 500 people were not even bothered where I’d stay or whom I was marrying. Their main dilemma was whether to have chicken or fish. And would one slice of brownie suffice, or should they take two. They didn’t want to walk to the counter again for it.
I wish I had understood that all that will matter eventually is the man I am marrying. And the family that comes along with him. A pair of shoes less or a wedding dress a few thousands cheaper would not even be on my mind. Ever.
I didn’t have someone to guide me. But you all do. Take some inspiration and save those bucks.