Only if a girl follows the rules laid down by society in making decisions in life, is she considered a girl worthy of respect. Why?
I think girls in India are born with a timetable. They enter the world with a well-prepared schedule ready for them by their parents.
All her life, she does what she is told to do. When she is asked to focus on her career, and she becomes completely career oriented, fate (?) changes things. They say, she can continue to work on her career after her wedding. (Popular saying: shaadi ke baad kar legi, career hi toh hai).
By any chance, if she falls in love before the deemed ‘marriageable age‘, she is told she cannot, that she is ‘too young’. (Another popular saying: inn sabh baton mei kuch nai rakha, career pe focus karo). Well the point is if she shouldn’t fall in love before then why even after? Just because she is 25, that’s the appropriate time for her to fall in love?
I am not saying elders’ decisions are always wrong. They have much more experience than us. However, I feel we should get past this ‘Timetable Pressure’ and social pressure that have been on girls from decades. Do not fix any particular age to do things. And certainly, her wishes are important once she is an adult.
The most common problem in a girl’s life is that we tend to find faults in her decisions of life if she wants to do things her way. Why can’t you let her do what she wants to do and support her? Isn’t this the parents’ duty? Are parents only responsible to set up the timetable?
Most of the time, girls give up their dreams because they don’t feel confident about it. That’s because, instead of the assurance, doubts come up.
Instead of supporting her and saying, “yes you will be able to do it”, queries come up such as, “are you sure? Think twice. Don’t regret.” Why can’t you say, “go for it. We are with you!”
If she wants to work for 5 years and then get married, let her do that.
If she wants to get married before starting her career, let her do that.
If she doesn’t want to get married at all, don’t force her.
If she wants to be an entrepreneur or an actress, support her.
Be responsible for her happiness.
Do not entangle her with social taboos just because society thinks that she should get married by 25.
Trust her, hold her hand, give her support, let her breathe and let her live.
Published here earlier.
Image source: wikicommons