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30 and single. I realized how much this is hated by society when 'well-wishers' called me up on my birthday and spoke only of my biological clock!
30 and single. I realized how much this is hated by society when ‘well-wishers’ called me up on my birthday and spoke only of my biological clock!
Yes, ‘Age is just a number!’ but somehow I still remember the dread with which I was looking forward to this year (2016), as I turned 30!
But when you start looking around, you are bombarded with things like which anti wrinkle cream/oil to apply after thirty. I do not agree with the so called exaggeration and unnecessary hype that is generated when a woman is 30 and single, and without a child.
Several so called well wishers did wish me a very happy 30th birthday, but there was no doubt that big question was:- What next? In fact few were quite vocal about my biological clock/difficulty in conceiving the older I got/SINGLE status. Since they are the well wishers they would not want me to end up an old hag.
Discussion and more discussion – advice on which is the best matrimonial website, and several other things which don’t make sense to me still. I felt bad, perhaps a little sad too. Instead of having a celebration centred around my achievements, everything was centred around my age. Did I feel lucky or did I feel an outcast? Well neither.
I would sincerely want to express gratitude to those inspiring women out there, and my excellent professional network where I am an individual with strong credentials, barring my matrimonial status or ability to reproduce. But what about those hundreds or thousands women out there, who have neither the help nor support?
Do they succumb to the pressure and give up? Or do they struggle alone and feel miserable?
Emotional health is often neglected when we talk about wellness. I have been a victim of depression and have successfully fought the battle. No longer do the anti-ageing creams or biological clocks bother me. I love myself and I am totally comfortable in my own skin. However general perceptions and expectations which are outlined for females bother me.
I am writing this piece from somewhere in rural Tamil Nadu. I had volunteered to train a batch of final year girls on Employability Skills. The whole session it had been an eye opener for me. In my first session I asked these girls to write, “where do they see themselves in five years?”
To my shock, almost everyone wrote: – ‘married‘. A few wrote ‘married with children‘. These girls are between 18-19 years, in their final year degree. When I shared my age and my single status with them, they had this look on their faces – as if I had come from some other planet. Same country, such a big difference in the attitude.
I remember reading Lean In by Sheryl Sandberg, wherein she does mentions how women all over the globe are brain washed/ brought up in a way that the whole priority is to get a husband. I realised it was the truth. I was confounded by the response. Where were their dreams? Dreams are what keeps us alive and moving. But how smart for the society that they bring up their daughters in such a way that their dream reflects what their society wants them to do? Nip in the bud indeed!
Alas, we are the country where we worship many forms of Durga and Kali but struggle, and had to design special campaigns to educate the girl child/stop female foeticide.
At times I am deeply disheartened. However I do hope that someday this root level discrimination will stop and we will not require special campaigns. Where marriage should be based on free will and love, rather than the ticking biological clock. Where sanitary pads will not be wrapped in newspaper and handed over as if buying some prohibited drug.
This is to our sisterhood. To each one of us who have chosen to tread on their own chosen path.
Image source: shutterstock
Founder@AngeTactile ( Angel Touch). Tarot Card /Angel Card reader. Image Consultant An Engineer by Education, Classical Dancer by passion and Writer by Choice. I am passionate about Educating Girls/differently abled children in India and read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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