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The new generation Indian woman is no longer willing to let traditions dictate her life, if she does not agree with them.
I am a new generation woman full of expectations from life, expectation for freedom, a choice for dignity and most importantly for equality.
My confidence comes from my parents who raised me by assuring me that I am no less than any one in this whole world.
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Each day when I came home late at night, from classes as a girl and work as a young woman, they kept their fears aside and encouraged me to do what I wanted, and prepared me to stand on my feet. This made me a confident person.
Against all the rituals and culture that showed women as lesser, my parents raised me to see myself as an equal, treat myself as equal despite all the challenges that came my way. This gave me the determination to step up into the world and make my mark.
Above all, my parents imbibed in me a quality to make a choice, actually to make ‘my choice’. This gave me the strength to fall and rise with dignity.
With all the freedom I have to make my choice, and all the confidence I have to make the right choice, against all the ideologies they were raised into, my parents trusted my chosen man and stood by it.
Today I stand at a crossroads of being a loyal daughter-in-law to the parents of the man I chose with all the confidence and freedom. Be the daughter-in-law at the expense of whose parents the wedding was to take place, because “usually the practice in both love or arranged marriages is that the lady’s side bears all the expenses!”
I REFUSE! I REFUSE THAT! I REFUSE TO BE THAT!
I will not step back even if people who once called me confident call me proud. I will not step back even if I have to make the most difficult of life choices. I will not step back even if I have to lose then man I love!
Not because I do not have the money to spend for both the sides or this is a big issue in comparison to the ones some others have but just because it reflects and reiterates ‘patriarchy’!
With the same resolve I gained over the years, I will stand up against the idea of accepting what is ‘the practice.’
Because I have the power not just to choose but to change! I have the freedom.
Image source: shutterstock
This a strong and powerful post. It conveys intent and will. It is the need of the hour. If bride and groom see themselves as equals and want to be fair to each other, a groom will just not be comfortable with the injustice to a bride of allowing her parents to foot the entire bill of marriage expenses. He will feel humiliated to not pay his share too. Many Indian grooms in recent times (both arranged and love)have proved that they have the depth of character to be fair and so have rejected this unfair patriarchal practise and have thus set the foundations for a fair marriage ahead. Expenses, contraception, family and career planning and willingness to compromise and put effort are not any single partner’s responsibility in a modern marriage. It really takes two people’s effort and sense of responsibility and willingness to “give” rather than “take” to make love grow and to keep a marriage strong especially in this day and age. If any one partner fails in meeting the other half way in these critical matters, the marriage will flounder, if not fail.
You are right Sonia, many grooms and families have rejected these practices and we still have a long way to go 🙂
What a powerful post. I hope this inspires many. Thank You for sharing this.
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