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Sex in a marriage should be something mutually enjoyable that both want, not something traded for financial and physical security.
“We do it every day. I don’t say no, so that he doesn’t get diverted. You know what I mean! This keeps him tied into our relationship,” my childhood friend proudly told me while we were relaxing at her small apartment in Delhi.
I was shocked. I hadn’t heard anything that hilarious and senseless since a long time.
“You’re kidding, right?” I snapped at her.
“See, it’s completely fine to do it every day if my husband likes it. It’s not true that I don’t like it at all. I have many colleagues who are divorced in less than 2 years of marriage. They have no respect in the society. I am proud of my relationship. We love each other. We enjoy the time we spend every day before we sleep. I like it when he kisses, cuddles or …” she claimed.
“But you guys have different schedules. You have a 9 to 5 job. He has 11 to 8. I see him online until late nights. And I know you sleep before 12. How does this work for you both?” I questioned.
“No, he is very caring. He makes sure that he gets some time to cuddle me or make love before I am off to bed,” she confessed clearing her throat.
“Oh, so when you start snoring, that’s the time probably when he messages to me, and I suppose, to other female friends from his work and college!” I alleged.
“What, what do you mean? Does he text you every day?” She sounded surprised.
“No, but only because I don’t reply to his messages, ever. I am sure he has other people (women) to entertain through nights. But, don’t worry. At least he loves you, and you surely love him too. I wonder does it matter to you whom he talks, as long as you both love each other?” I asked mock innocently.
(“I am gonna check his Facebook and Whatsapp profile. I have so many times warned him not to send messages to my girl-friends or other women” I could almost hear her thoughts!)
“What happened? What are you thinking?” I interrupted her thoughts.
“No, it doesn’t matter to me. My husband cares for me. I am better than many other married women out there. I live in a metro alone with my husband. I am blessed to get such an arrangement. He is fun-loving person…” she mumbled.
“Good for you!” I declared.
After coming back home, I kept thinking-
Should you have physical relationships with your husband just so he wouldn’t be interested in other women?
Is this marriage worth living with such fears every moment?
And you think you command respect in the society?
I am not sure how can I help a woman who is not ready to accept that she needs any help. If your physical and financial well-being is more essential than the emotional one, I am not sure if this article has any meaning for you.
I don’t know if I should feel respect for women who try hundreds of things to keep marriage alive for tens of people and thousands of reasons on earth. For now, I feel that if someone wants to leave, by all means I must let him go, for sake of one, and only reason- Myself.
Image source: shutterstock.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Menopause is a reality in women's lives, so Indian workplaces need to gear up and address women's menopausal needs.
Picture this: A seasoned executive at the peak of her career suddenly grapples with hot flashes and sleep disturbances during important meetings. She also battles mood swings and cognitive changes, affecting her productivity and confidence. Eventually, she resigns from her job.
Fiction? Not really. The scenario above is a reality many women face as they navigate menopause while meeting their work responsibilities.
Menopause is the time when a woman stops menstruating. This natural condition marks the end of a woman’s reproductive years. The transition brings unique physical, emotional, and psychological changes for women.
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