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A married Indian woman is supposed to do all the adjustments for the sake of the marriage. What about the husband? Shouldn't he hold up his part of the deal?
A married Indian woman is supposed to do all the adjustments for the sake of the marriage. What about the husband? Shouldn’t he hold up his part of the deal?
The life of a woman turns a complete 360 degrees once she gets married. Adjusting to the new lifestyle, new customs and traditions, etc. is only considered a requirement for the girl, now the wife. Leaving her family behind, all her things behind, everything familiar behind, and is expected to move forward in her life with the memories of her past.
So, I think husbands of Indian origin need these pointers, and I am going to address them to my husband. All husbands, consider yourself told.
I left my house to live with your family. Now, once in a while when a good opportunity comes our way where we need to relocate you do all drama about how your mom dad are alone, etc. You can also leave them, and we can stay independently. I am not saying that you should not take care of them at all, but when we have opportunities knocking we have to balance both.
I am staying with your family forever. Why do you hesitate to come for a stay for one or two days at my parents’ place? Forget about one or two days, even when they invite you to lunch or dinner you tend to hesitate.
Whenever you come to my parents’ house you will be treated as a KING with lot of respect and my parents shower you with lots of love. But what about me? In my case I don’t get such treatment at your house? Leave the dream to be a QUEEN, at least give us some respect and credit to what ever we do.
My parents have to talk to you very politely as you are their Son-in-law but when it comes to me, I just have to bear all the nonsense which your parents say to me and ignore it for peace.
Your sisters can come and stay in our house for weeks, but if I ask if can I go to my parents’ place, you start questioning and try to stop me most of the time from going there.
You can have fun with your friends and come back anytime, but when if I ask permission for one day to go out with my friends after doing all work, you say who is going to take care of the child?
This list will be never ending if I put down all the inequities. We are not complaining about anything, we just want everything equal. Compromise and adjustment should be there on both the sides. We even want respect in the family, which, I think, is our right.
So when are you going to change? Hopefully you’ll see sense soon.
Image source: Shutterstock.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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