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Parents there is no right time. It's upto you to time it right & talk about sexuality & different sexual orientation with your children. #WomenOnTheMove
“Mamma, what does gay mean?” Asks the innocent child, and the parent blushes…and stutters. Here’s how not to be that parent.
“Mama, do you know we were talking about ‘family’ today in school & I was surprised that there were kids who had two daddies and no mommies, and one had two mommies and no daddies. Isn’t it strange?” asked my 5 year old.
Explaining this scenario to a 5 year old was a bit of a predicament for me. What should I tell her? How should I tell her? Is this the right time? How do I put my words across with age appropriate knowledge?
Sooner or later every parent has to sit down with their children and talk about sexuality and different sexual orientation. But when is the right time to talk with children is of course up to each parent to decide.
A 5 year old might not understand these concepts, that some of us as adults are still coming to terms with. Earlier this week, we had our weekly #Womenonthemove chat over at Twitter, and this is what we discussed. (If you’re not yet following Women’s Web on Twitter, do now, and you can come over for the chat too, every Thursday 6-7PM IST).
Why? Because not only will it help in preparing our children for potentially unpleasant situations but also will strengthen the child-parent bond and mutual trust.
@womensweb A1. Not yet. He’s just turned 4. At most, we’ve talked to him about ‘gender’ and ‘inappropriate touching by others’ — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016Never miss real stories from India's women.Register Now
@womensweb A1. Not yet. He’s just turned 4. At most, we’ve talked to him about ‘gender’ and ‘inappropriate touching by others’
— Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb think my Dad had an open convo with me when I turned 11. But that was almost 20 yrs ago. Kids these days have much more access — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb think my Dad had an open convo with me when I turned 11. But that was almost 20 yrs ago. Kids these days have much more access
@womensweb #Womenonthemove Yes!No right age to start,start from very beginning.Reject gender norms& teach kids to celebrate gender fluidity — SheSays (@SheSaysIndia) June 30, 2016
@womensweb #Womenonthemove Yes!No right age to start,start from very beginning.Reject gender norms& teach kids to celebrate gender fluidity
— SheSays (@SheSaysIndia) June 30, 2016
@womensweb A2. I suppose, as soon as they get inquisitive; there’s no right age I suppose – all kids are different; — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb A2. I suppose, as soon as they get inquisitive; there’s no right age I suppose – all kids are different;
@womensweb I don’t have a child. But as an elder sister I helped my sister understand the ideas of LGBT very early. #womenonthemove — richa singh (@richa_singh) June 30, 2016
@womensweb I don’t have a child. But as an elder sister I helped my sister understand the ideas of LGBT very early. #womenonthemove
— richa singh (@richa_singh) June 30, 2016
@womensweb yes. The right age is when they get inquisitive…. very relative to each child. — Ruchitaa Mehrra (@RuchitaaMehrra) June 30, 2016
@womensweb yes. The right age is when they get inquisitive…. very relative to each child.
— Ruchitaa Mehrra (@RuchitaaMehrra) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @richa_singh I did. First when he was ten. I had one yday. Spoke about contraception, safe sex and etc. He leaves 4 college soon. — Kanchana Banerjee (@justkanchana) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @richa_singh I did. First when he was ten. I had one yday. Spoke about contraception, safe sex and etc. He leaves 4 college soon.
— Kanchana Banerjee (@justkanchana) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @indywrites @iwrotethose @mehas1 Most of my friends haven’t discussed sex, contraceptives with kids who are leaving 4 college — Kanchana Banerjee (@justkanchana) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @indywrites @iwrotethose @mehas1 Most of my friends haven’t discussed sex, contraceptives with kids who are leaving 4 college
@womensweb @richa_singh It’s so imp to discuss this with young boys and girls going to college. — Kanchana Banerjee (@justkanchana) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @richa_singh It’s so imp to discuss this with young boys and girls going to college.
@womensweb when i was a child, sexuality was a taboo topic in the house. Even now, if i talk of pregnant women, i m shushed #WomenontheMove — eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb when i was a child, sexuality was a taboo topic in the house. Even now, if i talk of pregnant women, i m shushed #WomenontheMove
— eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb everything related to SEX is still taboo in a lot of households. — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb everything related to SEX is still taboo in a lot of households.
@womensweb Even worse is the look that people give you if you happen to walk into a supermarket to buy a contraceptive…say a condom for eg — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb Even worse is the look that people give you if you happen to walk into a supermarket to buy a contraceptive…say a condom for eg
@womensweb When I was in school we were clueless about LGBT, ppl used to ridicule them. Movies also cause this stereotype #womenonthemove — Aparna V Singh (@editorsahiba) June 30, 2016
@womensweb When I was in school we were clueless about LGBT, ppl used to ridicule them. Movies also cause this stereotype #womenonthemove
— Aparna V Singh (@editorsahiba) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra the kids are confused with terms & don’t know what it means. More the curiosity, more the research. — Niyatii N Shah (@projectaverti) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra the kids are confused with terms & don’t know what it means. More the curiosity, more the research.
— Niyatii N Shah (@projectaverti) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra it’s best to give them honest answers. Else they will Google and that can expose them to unnecessary information. — Niyatii N Shah (@projectaverti) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra it’s best to give them honest answers. Else they will Google and that can expose them to unnecessary information.
@womensweb @richa_singh we shud encourage children to come up with Qs …as against to peers or some source that could give distorted info — Ruchitaa Mehrra (@RuchitaaMehrra) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @richa_singh we shud encourage children to come up with Qs …as against to peers or some source that could give distorted info
@womensweb That’s worse;B’cos with the ‘access’ they have, they’re self-educating -and that gives them a very narrow & incorrect view of sex — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb That’s worse;B’cos with the ‘access’ they have, they’re self-educating -and that gives them a very narrow & incorrect view of sex
@womensweb Most ppl get an awareness in early childhood itself.For eg Transgender kids hv a fair idea. Conflict arises when parents reject — eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb Most ppl get an awareness in early childhood itself.For eg Transgender kids hv a fair idea. Conflict arises when parents reject
@womensweb their gender orientation and instead force their kids to behave as per societal gender binaries #WomenOntheMove — eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb their gender orientation and instead force their kids to behave as per societal gender binaries #WomenOntheMove
@womensweb a3. It comes down to how easily You (both as an individual and parent) can accept these. Explaining is perhaps the easier part. — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb a3. It comes down to how easily You (both as an individual and parent) can accept these. Explaining is perhaps the easier part.
@womensweb I didn’t (rather still don’t like) explain through biological facts. Made the chat more cultural /softer issues #womenonthemove — richa singh (@richa_singh) June 30, 2016
@womensweb I didn’t (rather still don’t like) explain through biological facts. Made the chat more cultural /softer issues #womenonthemove
@womensweb the best way to reach out to kids is thru mythological tales. Mahabharat for example talks of Shikhandi and Mahadeva — eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb the best way to reach out to kids is thru mythological tales. Mahabharat for example talks of Shikhandi and Mahadeva
@womensweb You have to be careful not to pass on your Prejudices to your kids.So you need to make your peace with that first #Womenonthemove — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb You have to be careful not to pass on your Prejudices to your kids.So you need to make your peace with that first #Womenonthemove
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra one needs to know that a human does not decide their orientation. They can’t help what they are. — Niyatii N Shah (@projectaverti) June 30, 2016
@womensweb @RuchitaaMehrra one needs to know that a human does not decide their orientation. They can’t help what they are.
@womensweb I’ve also seen kids freely cheer on various Pride parades ; so it not being taboo definitely helps in making them understand. — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb I’ve also seen kids freely cheer on various Pride parades ; so it not being taboo definitely helps in making them understand.
We need to understand that the world has come a long way since when we were a child. It has gone through a sea change. And as adults we need to come to terms with this fact and accept it & change accordingly. Nothing is a ‘TABOO’. It’s just our mental block that we need to do away with for good.
@womensweb Absolutely. Sensitizing is one thing; accepting their choices is another. We MUST be able to WALK the TALK — Sid (@iwrotethose) June 30, 2016
@womensweb Absolutely. Sensitizing is one thing; accepting their choices is another. We MUST be able to WALK the TALK
@womensweb i agree absolutely. A healthy society can be achieved when there is openness and acceptance of sexual and gender identities — eggs and eggplants (@firingouty) June 30, 2016
@womensweb i agree absolutely. A healthy society can be achieved when there is openness and acceptance of sexual and gender identities
@womensweb if the parents are open minded, they unconsciously create an environment wherein kids easily take to such concepts which r taboo — meha (@mehas1) June 30, 2016
@womensweb if the parents are open minded, they unconsciously create an environment wherein kids easily take to such concepts which r taboo
— meha (@mehas1) June 30, 2016
@womensweb we can demonstrate our acceptance of freedom of sexuality through our actions, have healthy discussions and so on — meha (@mehas1) June 30, 2016
@womensweb we can demonstrate our acceptance of freedom of sexuality through our actions, have healthy discussions and so on
@womensweb also talking to children abt bodies changin gender n repro health enables them to speak out on abuse , rather than feel guilty — Aanchal Verma (@aanch29) June 30, 2016
@womensweb also talking to children abt bodies changin gender n repro health enables them to speak out on abuse , rather than feel guilty
— Aanchal Verma (@aanch29) June 30, 2016
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UP Boards Topper Prachi Nigam was trolled on social media for her facial hair; our obsession with appearance is harsh on young minds.
Prachi Nigam’s photo has been doing the rounds on social media for the right reasons. Well, scratch that- I wish the above statement were true. This 15-year-old girl should ideally be revelling in her spectacular achievement of scoring a whopping 98.05% and topping her tenth-grade boards. But oddly enough, along with her marks, it’s something else that garners more attention – her facial hair.
While the trolls are driving themselves giddy by mocking this girl who hasn’t even completed her school yet, the ones who are taking her side are going one step ahead – they are sharing her photoshopped pictures, sans the facial hair, looking nothing less than a celebrity with captions saying – “Prachi Nigam, ten years later”.
Doctors have already diagnosed her with PCOD in their comments, based on photographic evidence. While we have names for people shamed for their weight – body shaming, for their skin colour- racism, for their age- age shaming, for being a female- sexism, this category of shaming where one faces criticism for their appearance has no name. With that, it also has zero shame attached to it.
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