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Age is said to make one more tolerant, but sometimes we find a distinct lack of tolerance growing within.
People ‘pleasers’ – is what we humans are – instinctively. And there is nothing sinister about it.
Parents’ expectations mean a lot to a child because she needs to please them, keep them happy. Maybe because there is a return value to those expectations or maybe just because they are the most important twosome of his or her life and acceptability from them means the world to the child.
As and how one grows older, peers and the society in general has a lot of say in one’s choices and even behavior. There is always a rush to meet expectations – those of teachers, bosses, spouse etc.
However, there is a certain stage in all our lives when we slowly but surely start caring less for some categories of persona.
To pursue something unachievable comes naturally to most of us. When it is about ambition to achieve our creative choices it is fulfilling, but when it is about pursuing people who are indifferent it is a futile endeavor.
At some point in time, with a lot of experience, we do realize the futility of it and such people cease to hold any kind of place in our lives.
The days of our youth are often filled with trying to debate, argue and convince people whose views clash ours. A reason to that might be because at that age, we are pretty idealist as far as our views are concerned. We can spend hours justifying them and hope that one day we can convert the person sitting opposite us.
An older wiser us slowly ignores completely people who challenge our views – vocally or with an attitude.
We tend to form our own village of people – people whom we can talk to without having to handle uncomfortable situations even when views are different.
Blame it on genes or environment, but all of us come with varying degrees of the good bad and ugly traits. None spared.
However, with time, folks who don’t return our feelings and treatment in approximately the same measure, fall out of our village. We all love and yearn to be loved. And with age, the only people we choose to have around us who make us feel adequately wanted.
Our friends, our family and our network is all about people whom we can talk to, share with. No doubt, all of us come with different mindsets and interests. And it is only the variety in our network which exposes us to perspectives which we could never see.
However, people with whom we can absolutely not communicate because there is either nothing in common or no understanding of each other, fall out of each other’s village. Fall out with no hard feelings, but just the inability to fit in each other’s lives.
Hygiene is a very personal choice. And as kids hygiene is definitely not a factor which rules out a friendship.
However with years of seasoning and conditioning, hygiene is definitely something which makes or breaks our relationship with someone. Some of us do come with a little more tolerance than others, however at some point it does hinder a comfortable interaction, if hygiene issues of a person bothers us.
Some would say experience and age brings more tolerance; probably it does; but only in areas where it is worth it.
Image source: Pixabay
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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