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I had no awareness about menstruation, except for a warning about reporting 'blood on panties'. When it happened, I soon equated periods with pain.
I had no awareness about menstruation, except for a warning about reporting ‘blood on panties’. When it happened, I soon equated periods with pain.
My mother had told my elder sister and me, “If you see blood in your panties or while you pee, let me know”. I did not understand and asked her why. She said, the neighbors’ daughter found blood and felt sick. I thought, it is some new viral fever that is spreading. 2-3 months went by but neither of us reported any such incident. I had almost forgotten about it.
I was in 6th standard, barely 12 years old. Our school had organized a field trip that day. I got up early and noticed blood. I remember, I was scared. Immediately, I shouted and reported to my mother. She inspected and told me I cannot go to school today. I was confused. I was fine so “why can’t I go?” I argued in vain.
She gave me a cloth and asked me to use it. I had no idea what was happening. I remember crying wanting to go to school. My mom quietened me and then explained to me. I was shocked. At our place, the old age tradition of not letting the girl do anything during first 3 days of period was followed. I had seen my dad cooking during those 3 days. My mom could not enter kitchen or bedroom (since our temple was in the room). There are many more restrictions. Now, I had to follow all these.
My mom never used pads – only cloth. So my first period was devoid of pads and that made it more cumbersome. My mom realized this and gave me cotton the next day. It was better than the cloth but yet I didn’t like it. For some reason, I did not bleed a lot during the first three days and neither did it hurt. On the fourth day, I ran and hugged my father and wept. He was trying to console me and said it is a part of growing up.
My dilemma did not end there. After 7/8 days, I again noticed blood. This time it was bad and was hurting. Also I was bleeding a lot. For a moment I felt I have lost all blood. I had a horrible time, my mom told me not to play or do any strenuous activity. She then introduced me to pads (thankfully).
The saga continued – after every 20 days I used to get my periods and it lasted for nearly 7 days. I was losing weight. We consulted many doctors, but nothing helped. Finally, I visited a Homeopath doctor and was on her medicine for nearly a year and half. Slowly, the number of days reduced. However, other problems like vomiting, acidity aggravated during those days.
I changed my eating habits, improved on my lifestyle. It helped, but yet it is not completely painless. I wonder how some women (including my sisters) navigate through those days with complete ease. Somehow, I always associate period with pains and wonder why do women need to endure always.
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A software engineer ,who loves to travel.A writer by heart. read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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