Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Only when one is truly happy from within, can they spread joy to others. A thoughtful post for today's woman.
Only when one is truly happy from within, can they spread joy to others. A thoughtful post for today’s woman.
Haven’t we heard this time and again – and it resonates so well with me. I could imagine a situation where there is something making me feel low, don’t think I could do a good job of spreading cheer around me. Of course we all face problems in life – work related stress and issues, financial ones, a tiff with a dear one.
We cannot expect a fairy tale life where everything is picture perfect and happily ever after is only a myth. No, this is a part of life and it would be foolish to expect a problem free life.
Now let’s digress a bit. Being a woman how many of us take time to think about ourselves, our dreams, passion, interests? Haven’t we always been conditioned that the role of a woman is to keep her family happy first, cook for them, take care of her kids. Only such a selfless woman is the epitome of womanhood, the Adarsh Nari.
Once we become moms, the responsibility of raising our kids, nurturing them, tending to them in sickness and so much more takes up most of our time. To that, add the household chores, attending to other family members needs , and if you are working then 10-12 hours a day are anyway spent at the workplace. So when do we get time to indulge in things we like?
Do we ever think of it at all or are we so caught up in the daily grind that we just overlook it?
Coming to the question of how we perceive ourselves, this is again an area where we are always pulling a face or frowning on catching glimpse of ourselves in the mirror. Ouch that fat in the tummy, the stretch marks, does that sound familiar?
Motherhood alters life and it comes with a lot of physical changes too. Expecting to look like that 22 year old just fresh from college is indeed stupid. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying use motherhood as an excuse to feast on what you like, get complacent about your body. Absolutely not. We do need to watch out what we eat, try and exercise, if not at the gym then at least by alternative means like using the stairs instead of elevator, try mopping the floor? That works wonders!
Personally I was never a health or fitness freak. When I got pregnant I would often worry if I would fit into my pre-pregnancy clothes. I would stare at the rows of one piece dresses, skirts and high heels and sigh “I cannot imagine giving away all of this lovely stuff”.
Luckily I did not put on on too much weight during my pregnancy and was back to my usual weight in a few months. So luckily most of my clothes do fit me and I I am more than happy to buy new ones for those that I discarded. After all when it comes to shopping, the more, the merrier.
What I could not get rid of though is the stretch marks – when I used to look at them I would cringe. But one day I just thought, “well the clothes I wear conceal them anyways and I do not see myself in a bikini ever so how does it matter?”
From that day when I look at them there is no frown. They are the signs of my body that carried my beautiful Angel and that’s how I look at them.
I recall I was 2 kgs short of my ideal weight and it used to drive me crazy. I switched to sugar free, used the stairs even at the risk of tripping in my high heels, watched my diet closely and tried to avoid fried foods, chocolates but nothing worked. The scale refused to budge.
Then one day I stopped fretting about it, I simply let it be and when I checked my weight casually one day I was back to my ideal weight. I realised that over-analysing and over-thinking about something only causes harm. As mommies it’s important to take care of our body, but it’s equally important to love and nurture it. It’s important to dress well, stay well groomed and if you like make up, go for it. Please don’t stop yourself saying that, “Oh I am a Mom who will look at me?” The utmost damage you would do is to yourself.
Only when you truly love yourself, invest time in yourself, feed your dreams, water the sapling of your desires and tend to it lovingly, can you raise a happy family. Respecting and loving yourself is the first step in setting an example before your daughter that as a woman learn to place yourself first and a lesson to your son that don’t take a woman for granted. She is worth a lot.
Don’t mistake this for narcissism, If being one’s favourite as Kareena Kapoor aptly put it in ‘Jab We Met’, is being proud, selfish or a narcissist, then it’s a tag we should take on with no inhibitions.
So woman, stay beautiful, stay happy, stay strong – you are worth much more than you think. Time to raise the bar comrade.
Published here earlier.
Image source: silhouette mother and child by Shutterstock.
An avid reader, a shopaholic, head over heels in love with my little bundle of joy" Angel" ,God's most precious gift bestowed upon me, not so long ago.Professionally I am a Chartered Accountant read more...
Women's Web is an open platform that publishes a diversity of views, individual posts do not necessarily represent the platform's views and opinions at all times.
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
Please enter your email address