Do Not Put Your Mother On A Pedestal And Expect Her To Conform

Posted: May 8, 2016

Let us set them free to be human and live their life, even if our instinct is to idolize our mothers. Let us support mothers in their choice.

It is Mother’s Day and we are all set to do something or the other for that one person who has made a huge difference in our lives – our mom. Like any other ‘Day’ which we celebrate, Mother’s Day too is associated with a lot of commercialization, something which its founder Anna Jarvis frowned upon.

The commercialization bit however does not commercialize our outlook at least towards commemorating the one most important person in our lives. And the reason for this is, placing moms on a pedestal; a pedestal on which one is not allowed any flaw. As much as we understand that a mother is just another human being who can make mistakes; it is very difficult to see her faltering as a human being.

Every religion, culture, story or movie has only idolized the mother. You could have an evil father, brother, wife, sister or even a step-mother but never an evil mother!

So, in reality, are we women truly selfless as a mother?

Well, we definitely try to be.

We try to make sure our kid/s eat healthy and still worry that they might not be getting the best.

We stretch ourselves so that they get the best exposure – be it academics or extra-curriculars and still agonize over the fact that it could get better.

As teenagers when they blame us for anything under the sun which probably is remotely our fault, we spend sleepless nights thinking how we could change anything to make them feel differently.

Once they are out on their own leading their lives, we wait for that one phone call. That call over which we try to do our best to soothe the perils of their lives, solve their problems which may be our beyond our control and still feel that we could have done more!

Till date I haven’t met a mom who is satisfied and is proud of the fact that she has done enough and the best for her child. There is always guilt (in varying degrees of course) to have done better!

So – does that warrant putting her on a pedestal?

I once read a very beautiful thought in an article: Human beings have feet of clay…don’t create a pedestal. Let’s not create one for our mothers too! Let us help them live human.

Just because they have been a constant figure during the early years of our lives, we expect their lives to revolve around us as we get more independent too. Any decision they take, is expected to keep in view their children first. Why can’t they be allowed to be a little selfish sometimes? Can we as children help them ease their guilt and be more receptive to their individual? I guess we can and we are the only ones too.

The way we proudly mention our mothers as the pillars of our success we should be able to be equally proud of them when they choose to pursue their dreams, if need be at the cost of the family.

When women choose to stick around in an incompatible marriage, their biggest reason are children. Let’s help by holding their hand and help them walk out.

If our mom misses our calls because she is on a trip with friends, let’s make her trip memorable by sending her a bottle of wine and wishing her tons of fun.

If her dreams and wishes don’t make us comfortable, let her pursue them still by being by her side.

Let’s break the pedestal so that she can leave her foot prints wherever she wishes to, not where we want her to.

Image source: adult daughter with her mother by Shutterstock.

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Comments

2 Comments


  1. Very true….it is for the same reason that all girls are looked at as ‘future mothers’ and they are constantly pressurised to follow a hell lot of rules and customs. Whereas the boys are not forced on such things as they are seen only for their earning abilities and how they take care of the elderly parents.
    Treat every person as human is a very good message.

  2. Yes…true

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