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A jealous husband is not cute, no matter what advertisements might say! Marriages should be based on trust, and an equal position for both.
A few days back I watched this advertisement and it bothered me. Along with commendable advertisements about Sharing The Load and how Bold is Beautiful , I feel disappointed to see such ads existing side by side and still considered popular.
At the very onset, let me clarify that the aim of the advertisement might have been light humor but at this juncture in our society I feel emotions like jealousy, possessiveness, domination, etc. shouldn’t be given a tag of being ‘cute’ and just tolerated. Please let’s call a spade a spade. Negative emotions are what they are. Yes, your husband/wife might tease you in jest, but no, that cannot go to the extent of actual jealousy. That’s unhealthy. Every woman or man should put their foot down at such negativity or insecurity.
This ad goes on to suggest that the husband feels that the pretty wife’s mangalsutra should show so that people understand she’s already ‘taken’. “You see, I the mighty husband here has marked my territory.”
Pray, why? And why should I being the modern age, independent woman, standing on an equal footing with my husband just say “Aww so cute that he’s marking me!” Maybe next time I’d go on to say that “Aww so cute, he’s beating me up because he feels insecure about my male friends. How cute, na?”
No, it’s not cute. It’s offensive, it’s harmful and it should stop. Are we not seeing enough disasters how tolerating such behaviour is wreaking havoc in relationships? Recently, a television personality allegedly committed suicide after not being able to take an abusive relationship anymore. A month ago, I read the news of a supermodel being physically and mentally abused by her husband. If we keep recounting such issues then I would possibly run out of space for the rest of the article.
Take a look at the ad before we go any further.
Some people might ask, this was just an ad, why am I so concerned? Because media builds our awareness about issues. We sometimes take things for granted just because we’ve seen someone on TV do it. Also, at this point the jealousy might look cute, but imagine what if such behaviour is given indulgence and it keeps growing in proportion?
I had a colleague once whose husband wouldn’t ‘allow’ her to stay in office post 5, irrespective of the workload. He would then call the office landline to check from the security guard whether she has actually left. She was not allowed to come downstairs with us during breaks. She could only wear full sleeved salwar kameez with a huge dupatta. She was not allowed to be in a conference room with male colleagues where there were no other women present – and the list goes on. Cute, right? And yes, theirs was a love marriage and I’m guessing it was these kind of tiny jealous behaviours as shown in the ad, which were allowed to grow to this monstrous proportion.
Finally, I do have lemon water and honey in the morning, and that’s because I feel refreshed and it’s considered healthy, as well. Not to make my husband jealous! A healthy marriage should be based on understanding, love, respect, and friendship. It should be based on shared ideals, life views, and philosophies. A marriage is being comfortable in your skin. Please let’s not portray marriage as a power game where one party (either the husband or the wife) uses passive aggressive means to keep the other person under control.
Image source: youtube.
Kasturi’s debut novel, forthcoming in early 2021, had won the novel pitch competition by Half Baked Beans Publishers. She won the Runner Up Position in the Orange Flower Awards 2021 for Short Fiction. Her read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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