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Will men feel a check if they are made aware of the trauma of molestation by the women they love, and stop them from molesting any other women?
Yesterday while, talking with a very close friend (a guy), we started discussing about the kind of problems a girl has to face while travelling by public transport. I was telling him the things a girl has to go through. Most of these things happen when they are at a young age; someone groping them, touching them indecently – at times the girls are so young that they do not even understand what is happening with them.
The trauma a girl goes through, crying for hours after such an incident. And every girl probably has faced god knows how many such ugly incidents.
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Once I started earning I gave up travelling in buses completely. Now, I do not even remember when was the last time I travelled in a crowded bus. And the only reason being the behavior and actions of co-passengers.
While discussing all this with him, I suddenly realized that I have hardly ever discussed these matters with any guys. Not even my father, my brothers or any boyfriend, just my husband. And then it got me thinking.
Maybe we girls should discuss this kind of incidents with our fathers, brothers, boyfriends. Narrate the incident, tell them about the pain, the trauma, the humiliation we feel without it being our fault. We should make the men in our lives aware of what we go through almost every day of our lives going to school, college, or office.
Every guy who touches a girl indecently is someone’s brother, father, boyfriend, husband. Maybe if they hear of their own sister, daughter, wife, whom they love, facing such incidents and seeing their pain first hand, maybe something will change. Maybe the next time they think of touching someone else they will remember the pain faced by their loved ones, and think twice before doing it.
Society cannot change unless we change ourselves first. Instead of quietly suffering, we should raise our voice, right when the incident is happening and also after reaching home. Share your pain with the men / boys who love you, care about you. It might help to change someone and make them protective of another girl who is their co-passenger.
Published earlier here.
Image source: local trains crowd by Shutterstock.
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We teach kids various values (being truthful, not cheating, being just and humane etc. ) as they grow up and as parents or mentors we have to be watchful to correct wrongdoing and be consistent about it. Respecting everyone (including girls and women) and treating them right is just another value which fathers, mothers, teachers etc. (all those who take on the role of value base educators and monitors) should instil in all kids, whether they are boys or girls. We must start when children are really small which leads to proper socialisation (the transferring of social rules and expectations, values and ideas from one generation to the next)
I agree with you Sonia, we need to teach our daughters to protest against wrong doings and wrong doers, and teach them how to protect themselves as well. And our sons to respect women and girls. And this should start from when they are still young.
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