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Will men feel a check if they are made aware of the trauma of molestation by the women they love, and stop them from molesting any other women?
Yesterday while, talking with a very close friend (a guy), we started discussing about the kind of problems a girl has to face while travelling by public transport. I was telling him the things a girl has to go through. Most of these things happen when they are at a young age; someone groping them, touching them indecently – at times the girls are so young that they do not even understand what is happening with them.
The trauma a girl goes through, crying for hours after such an incident. And every girl probably has faced god knows how many such ugly incidents.
Once I started earning I gave up travelling in buses completely. Now, I do not even remember when was the last time I travelled in a crowded bus. And the only reason being the behavior and actions of co-passengers.
While discussing all this with him, I suddenly realized that I have hardly ever discussed these matters with any guys. Not even my father, my brothers or any boyfriend, just my husband. And then it got me thinking.
Maybe we girls should discuss this kind of incidents with our fathers, brothers, boyfriends. Narrate the incident, tell them about the pain, the trauma, the humiliation we feel without it being our fault. We should make the men in our lives aware of what we go through almost every day of our lives going to school, college, or office.
Every guy who touches a girl indecently is someone’s brother, father, boyfriend, husband. Maybe if they hear of their own sister, daughter, wife, whom they love, facing such incidents and seeing their pain first hand, maybe something will change. Maybe the next time they think of touching someone else they will remember the pain faced by their loved ones, and think twice before doing it.
Society cannot change unless we change ourselves first. Instead of quietly suffering, we should raise our voice, right when the incident is happening and also after reaching home. Share your pain with the men / boys who love you, care about you. It might help to change someone and make them protective of another girl who is their co-passenger.
Published earlier here.
Image source: local trains crowd by Shutterstock.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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