Infertility Issues + Work Troubles Together Hitting Me Hard [#ReachOutThursday]

Posted: March 31, 2016

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When infertility issues and multiple stresses come together, a wife finds herself getting attracted to another male friend. What would you tell her?

Every Thursday, the Women’s Web expert panel with the support of Healtheminds, answers questions from readers facing relationships issues, emotional and mental challenges and other such issues. If you are feeling stressed/burnout or facing multiple problems together, simply enter your details here to schedule a stress management session with Healtheminds.

Have a supportive husband, but infertility issues + other stress tempting me to stray

I have been married for 6 years now. Myself and my spouse share good understanding and have been supporting each other. I’m unable to conceive due to his infertility and had miscarriage in the past.

Currently, I’m going through a rough phase both in career & personal life. I’m facing lot of pressure from my demanding in-laws who don’t respect me and my parents, never appreciate my efforts towards the family. At the same time, I had to face many struggles with the office management. Unable to handle work life balance, I had to accept degradation in my position.

With all these around, a few male friends of mine are showing sexual interest in me recently. Instead of avoiding all my friends, I just ignored their advances and maintained cordial relations. But, now I’m getting attracted to one of my friends who is trying to persuade me.

I’m struggling hard internally with all these emotions and finding it tough to detach from him. I’m running low with confidence and emotional strength, and demanding more love from my spouse these days to get back to normal. Please tell me how to develop self-control with these disturbing emotions and become successful in both personal and career space.

Hi Dear,

Thanks for sharing your thoughts with us.

You have not shared whether you are living in a joint family or nuclear family.

But whatever the case may be, try not to get affected with your in-laws’ barbed comments. Their insinuations and provocations may have been responsible for your many fights and quarrels with your husband too, leading to further deterioration in your happiness.

I know it sounds easy and very simplistic but do try to mentally shut your ears when such an attack happens from their side. Keep enhancing your self esteem by distracting yourself with more positive things in your life. Take that long walk with your husband which you had been postponing because of inner demons of anger or go for a long drive with him and share an ice cream together.

This will help you vent your frustrations and he will also be happy at your attempts to be positive and looking forward to sharing quality time together with him. Somewhere it will help you build your relationship with him. And the more stronger your relationships gets with your husband, the more meaningless their demands will seem to you and you will be able to cope with such issues in a more confident and competent manner.

The newly developed confidence will help you develop your potential in your profession and will also ward off any attempt on your colleagues’ side also to pick at your vulnerability.

So actually, it all depends on us in the end, how we choose to deal with a situation. Either we give way or we find way. The choice is ours. Tread confidently in your personal and professional life and you will find that elusive happiness sooner than later.

Also, it will help if you are able to interact with some counselor too who will help you maintain and sustain your positivity. Meeting a specialist together off and on will also help you both in knowing more about your bodies and the conception issue. This will also help you develop calmness and bring mental balance which you so desperately yearn for at this moment.

God bless.

– Amita Puri, Psychologist, Healtheminds

If you are feeling stressed/burnout or facing multiple problems together, simply enter your details here to schedule a stress management session with Healtheminds.

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