Will You Tell Your Child That Life Can Be Unfair Too?

Posted: January 17, 2016

Women’s Web is bringing the popular #BreakingBarriers event to Pune, Panjim, Hyderabad, Kolkata & Coimbatore. Register

There will come a time in your child’s life when it is important to present a balanced world view to them – the good, the bad, and the ugly. So, how do you teach them that life can be unfair too?

Its so much easier said than done. Its easy to say don’t scream and fight in front of your kids, its easy to say you need to let it go, you need to understand. And yet there are days when all that each of us wants to do is dwell, fight, get angry and if you are like me -cry. Life is never easy. On most days we put on our brave masks and try to sail through. Sail through saying this needs to be done, I need to take a backseat, I need to compromise and yet there are those weird days when all that you want is to rant, crib and get angry.

Point taken -do that. Figure out that one day and cry, crib and bitch. Of yes, bitch. Most of the times I will hold back even to write that word. Cuss words are such a strict no-no for that mask that each of us wears. And yet sometimes, just sometimes cuss words are all that you have.

If I was writing this to my daughter, If I was telling her about dealing with demons, would I still use cuss words? And how would the world of moms feel about it? Is it bad parenting to tell your kids that there will be days when you will not feel up to it, that there will be days when you will want to give up, there will be days when you will think that only and only your life is unfair. Days when you will not want to hear “Look at the bright side” or “You have to adjust”, “take it in your stride”. What do I tell my daughter about such days? Do I tell her that it is possibly fine to rant and scream once in a while or should I take the safer route and tell her that bad days exist, but bad days end.

I have no answers. But mostly I think its unfair to let kids live in bubbles, bubbles of Utopian worlds. This may sound terribly depressing and against any parenting ethos to most, but isn’t it fair that the child does not grow up hoping that it will always be fair and good and perfect in life.

Too many thoughts and these are frequent thoughts nowadays. I am worried, worried about how life will be for her.Will it be fair, ideal, rough, difficult, smooth sailing. The only good bit that I can think of for her is that if and only if life gives me the chance (by keeping me alive), I will always be there to hold her, stand by her, give her a shoulder and the strength. I wish my parents had done this for me. But nevertheless, that is how children learn -from the mistakes of their parents.

Reading all of this makes me feel like this dark, brooding woman. I thought that if I put this out publicly, people may think that I am this negative, depressed soul. I am not, I am a happy mommy, happy wife. And yet there are days when all of this is just so overwhelming. Old age, sickness, bad memories – all of it assails you, stays with you, and yet there is always light at the end of the tunnel.

Oh yes, I will definitely tell her this. That no matter how bitter you feel, remember that there will always be a tomorrow. A tomorrow when you will feel better not bitter. Just remember to hold on to your people, only they matter. Nothing else matters.  🙂

Image source: students by Shutterstock.

Mommy to a little Miss Sunshine. I write for myself, most of my rants being

Learn More

VIDEO OF THE WEEK

Comments

Share your thoughts! [Be civil. No personal attacks. Longer comment policy in our footer!]

Feminist Book Picks

Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!

Language cannot be the barrier.