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Hypocrisy in society's sexual mores is at the root of many of today's problems with sexuality. How? Read on to find out.
Hypocrisy in society’s sexual mores is at the root of many of today’s problems with sexuality. How? Read on to find out.
Probably, love, sex and infatuation have created maximum confusion and misunderstanding. In human life, on one side is hunger and on another side is love or sex. We have given a respectable position to physical hunger out of which socialism, communism and the labor movements arose. Somehow, we didn’t confer the same status to sex, our primary psychological hunger, and created dislike, prejudice and the impression of immorality.
So, instead of being open about it like physical hunger and poverty, everything about sex went behind a curtain. This gave birth to total hypocrisy about sex in the society and that birth of hypocrisy gradually invaded every aspect of social life and became synonymous with society.
The man-woman relationship should not remain a symbol of hypocrisy, social ostracism or soul soreness but it should be the culmination of soul-merging affirmative expression. Is a heterosexual relationship meant only for human procreation? Isn’t it a disgraceful degradation of one of the finest and purest relationship on the earth? Is it appropriate to equate it with the procreation instinct of other animals?
Mahatma Gandhi and Vinoba Bhave used to believe sex in context of procreation only. Human sexual relationship is full of emotions, intense flow of energy, ecstasy and feelings. How can it be a just procreation activity? Orthodox people gained ground because of believers of such great people. It has been scientifically proven fact that sex is helpful to human health including reducing blood pressure, physical and mental stress.
It is much easier to answer what love isn’t, rather than what love is. Real sex is not just lust, infatuation or physical gratification. Much more beyond that, it can be meeting of two minds, two energies which leads to final culmination of soul-merging affirmative expression. At the least, it should not be reduced to something mean. It would be better if we don’t give name to any relationship of love. It is a perception. It is not spoken word or sentence but mere silence and still one can hear it and can get it heard. Alleging that relationship by giving some name to it, just because of physical touch is totally derogating the concept of love.
When one person tells another person “I love you,” it conveys a much heavier meaning than just the words, if spoken truthfully. Nowadays, this phrase is freely used everywhere. So, it has lost its real value. We have equated perception and infinite feeling with artificial physical gestures.
Orthodox society builders set norms and rules in such a prejudicial manner that any man-woman relationship is considered as sexual until proved otherwise. The greatest injustice was done to benign crystal clear friendship. Establishment of such a deeply rooted value system of society, resulted in stamping either pre-marriage or post-marriage male-female relationship into a ‘dubious character’ zone. Illicit and not acceptable to society.
But we cannot stop natural things from happening, and such relationships started to develop secretly and behind the screen. To defend the social outrage, such relationship was hypocritically given the name of ‘religious brother and sister’ in public. Surprisingly, such labelling is acceptable to society but not the matter-of-fact relationship.
Let us analyze outcomes of this social mindset. Just friendships, as well as illicit relationships were given this label. This does injustice to both. The problem lies in the social mindset, people’s attitude towards such relationship. It is important to rectify default assumption by social mindset that opposite sex friendship always germinate out of sexual intentions. It may be just friendship because of a certain similarity of thought, at the level of discussion, at the level of interest, at the level of intelligence, at the level of mutual understanding and even at the level of problems both are facing. Giving a sexual flavour to any heterosexual friendship underlines the fact that women are looked at as sexual objects only. Is it not the sacrilege on the part of society to degenerate female status to very mean level?
Let us restart and dig up history from the origin of human beings. Nature was supreme at the beginning of human evolution. In that era, there was nothing like heterosexual, homosexual, lesbian or incest. As culture and civilization came into existence, society was formed. Rules and regulations, morality, norms, values and institute of marriage gradually started developing. As the time passed, rules were getting tightened and finally reached to a level of today’s hypocrisy.
Sexual evolution passed through various stages, starting from being natural, civilized to unnatural as it is today. In the name of social values, today’s morals are imposing immeasurable sufferings on many people and relationship. Prolonged suffering and suppression lead to revolution. Countdown has started for atomic bomb to fall upon sexual hypocrisy.
Image source: love and friendship concept by Shutterstock.
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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