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If some men did not harm women in the first place, would men need to assume responsibility for women's safety? We need equality, not protection!
If some men did not harm women in the first place, would men need to assume responsibility for women’s safety? We need equality, not protection!
Dear Boys/Men,
Your sensitiveness towards woman and the atrocities she faces is highly appreciated. Your steps towards making the world a better place for women to live in is remarkable. Thanks a lot for all your effort and thoughts.
Alas! These days, many posts and quotes which propagate the notion of women being men’s responsibility are going viral, mostly initiated by men (as far as I have seen). Social media is flooded with such opinions and discussions. Men are sharing their views about women being their responsibility and women, unfortunately, are further espousing the opinion. With this respect I just want to clarify a few things.
I am not your responsibility. If you are not my responsibility then how can I be yours? I am a human being just like you. I can also walk, talk, eat, pray, work, sleep, do most of the things you do, may be in a slightly different manner. I can take care of myself. I don’t need a bodyguard to protect me from other men. I am my own responsibility. You don’t have to safeguard my prestige from other men. I have the will power and courage to do all of that on my own, yes, on my own.
Let’s now think how that is possible. Rather let’s ponder over why are ‘you’ not ‘my’ responsibility? Because you can wander around freely on roads without feeling unsafe, at any time of the day or night. Because you can wear anything and no one will pass lewd remarks or gape at you. Because you don’t have to hesitate before knocking at the door of a female friend who is alone. Because you don’t have to be afraid to stay back late in the office. Because you don’t have to shift places after marriage. Because you are certain that I will never harm you, will never snatch your dignity away, will never put a black mark on your character, will never….
But sadly, this does not stand true for you. I can never rest assured. I will always have those second thoughts. No doubts you are working hard to help me (us), but please think why you have to even work towards bettering the society for me in the first place. I am not working towards the same goal for you to live a safer life. Safety is something that is one’s birth right. Strangely, I don’t get to enjoy it.
Late at night or in a deserted place you can wait for an auto or bus self-assured, even if you are surrounded by many women. Poignantly, I will scrunch myself, both physically and emotionally, ‘be vigilant and alert’ will straightaway start ringing in my head and my mind will start searching for ways to protect myself. Doesn’t this ring an alarm bell in your mind? How one human has to toil her way to be safe whilst on the contrary the other one remains unscathed in the same situation? As a matter of fact either we should both be in peril or none should be in that situation.
You create precarious situations for me and then claim to protect me from the danger (created by you only). In this whole process, I become your responsibility. In simple words, you first make the world perilous for me, and then you protect me from that peril. Ironically, the outcome of the whole ruckus caused by you is to be faced by me. You become the hero and I the ‘responsibility’.
Hope you now get why should I not be your responsibility and how can I take care of myself. Help us in making the world equal for all and give us the prospects to feel the same as you do.
Yours Sincerely,
A Proud Woman
superhero image via Shutterstock
An educationist by profession, feminist by nature and a believer by passion. read more...
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If her home and family seem to be impacted by her career then we expect her to prioritize her ‘responsibilities at home as a woman’ and leave her job.
The entrenched patriarchal norms have always perpetuated certain roles and responsibilities as falling specifically in the domain of either men or women. Traditionally, women have been associated with the domestic sphere while men have been considered the bread winner of the household. This division of roles has become so ingrained in our lives that we seldom come to question it. However, while not being questioned does give the system a certain level of legitimacy, it in no way proves its veracity.
This systematic division has resulted in a widely accepted notion whereby the public sphere is demarcated as a men’s zone and the private sphere as belonging to women. Consequently, women are expected to stay at home and manage the household chores while men are supposed to go out and make a living with no interest whatsoever in the running of the household.
This divide is said to be grounded in the intrinsic nature of men and women. Women are believed to be compassionate, affectionate and loving and these supposedly ‘feminine’ qualities make them the right fit for caring roles. Men, on the other hand are allegedly more sturdy, strong and bold and hence, the ones to deal with the ordeals of the outside world.
Investing in women means many things beyond the obvious meaning of this IWD2024 theme, as the many orgs doing stellar work can show us.
What does it mean to invest in women?
Telling the women in our lives how great we think they are? That we value the sacrifices they have made? (Usually though not necessarily only – a sacrifice of their aspirations, careers and earning potential in order to focus on family).
No, thank you. Just talk is no longer going to cut it. Roses and compliments are great, but it’s time people, leaders, organizations put their money, capital, resources on track instead.
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