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Here are 5 reasons why we drift away in relationships, and also solutions to keep it together.
Why do couples who were once head over heals in love with each other start to drift apart after a few years of being together? There are many reasons and they might vary from couple to couple. If you think about the major ones, they are:
How correctly J.K Rowling has stated two of the main reasons behind many failed relationships. After being together for years, couples start to take each other for granted. Indifference creeps into their relationship and they begin to neglect each other. Not because they dislike each other, but because they are flowing together like leaves floating along in the same river, no more attached to the same tree.
Solution: Try not to neglect each other. Take a genuine interest in each other. He/she was the person whom you thought the world about when you were in love.
Couples these days have no time for each other caught up in their individual careers and lives.There is a huge communication gap.
One expects the other to understand his/her situation because he/she is his/her, spouse/lover. Unfortunately, till this moment human beings do not have the ability to communicate via thoughts or through telepathy.
Solution: You have to talk. When you talk, please do not nag. Telling things more than once, usually do more damage than good.
Try not to bring out his/her past mistakes when you start to argue. Such arguments often tend to escalate beyond your control. When you mention a past mistake you actually hurt yourself again because you start to experience the same emotions which had been created then by that old hurt. Forgive any small mistakes that had happened. She/He had done it because of his/her circumstances then.
Solution: Try to forgive and forget. More than him/her, you will be doing yourself a favour. We human beings are not perfect. We do ourselves more harm when we keep our anger suppressed.
When you are in a public place, you are the most graceful person on earth. You tell “Thank you” to the security guard who opened the supermarket door for you. You say “Sorry” when you accidently bump onto a person on the pavement. But do we remember to say “Thank you” to our spouses for their tiny acts of kindness? Do we openly ask for forgiveness if we make a mistake? Instead, we take their kindness for granted and try to justify our mistakes.
Solution: Practice gratitude. Remember little acts of kindness daily and be grateful for it. Maintain a gratitude journal. Try to be kind yourself. Practice to apologise.
“An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything.” ― Lynn Johnston
So let us start appreciating, loving and living. Let us bring more magic into our lives by using the magic words “Thank You” and “Sorry.”
Have a great day!
Cover image via Shutterstock
Preethi Venugopala is a Civil Engineer by profession and an artist and writer by passion. Her love for English language manifested into a postgraduate degree in English Literature. She is a published author and her read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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