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Boys don't cry? That is such a wrong message to give to our sons. Crying is, in general, a sign of asking for help.
Expressions like ‘boys don’t cry’ send dangerous messages to our sons. Crying is, in general, a sign of asking for help. When parents teach their sons not to cry, they are more or less teaching them not to ask for help.
All this time, the most common discrimination a girl has to face is with the attitude towards crying. With the well-popularized thought that men don’t cry, or that men don’t feel pain, or ‘mard ko dard nahi hota’ , the crying is synonymous with women. Expressions like ‘cried like a woman’ abound, although there is no biological proof that men tend to cry less than women in similar situations. While women do suffer from mood swings and hormonal outbursts, it is a wrong reason to justify a gender bias that is started at a very young age.
Boys are often chided for crying for very normal reasons like pain, despair or longing. This sort of gender bias creates an acute emotional shift, where a boy learns to live in an emotionally controlled environment where crying is something that the weak does and is therefore not an option in distress, while at the same time delving into an illusion that girls, since they supposedly cry a lot, are weak.
Crying is, in general, a sign of asking for help. When parents teach their sons not to cry, they are more or less teaching them not to ask for help. This can create a lot of pent-up emotional frustration inside a child in his growing years, and may affect his temperament and judgment in later life. He can grow with a superior outlook towards girls by thinking of them as weak.
One must understand that asking for help can never be a sign of weakness. Preparing a boy for manhood by depriving him of emotions can only weaken him. He learns to be judgmental of those who are emotional, misdirects his emotions and remains mistrustful of people. A lot of violent tendencies in men are result of an emotionally pent up childhood.
This video by Vogue India captures the way boys are taught in lots of ways not to cry, but also asks a pertinent question. What if they are taught to not make others cry? Parenthood is a difficult job, and one must think of consequences in later years before feeding all these stereotypical words to an impressionable child.
Crazy thinker, impulsive writer, schizophrenic psychopath.....what!! Ruchi, why would you write that now, huh? read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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