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No new parent is free from unsolicited advice but the best way to deal with it is to take the advice with a tub of salt and a snarky sense of humour.
No new parent is free from unsolicited advice but the best way to deal with it is to take the advice with a tub of salt and a great sense of humour.
So David Beckham is facing the wrath of trolls for allowing his baby girl with Victoria Beckham, Harper, to use a dummy (pacifier) even at 4. What’s new in that for a parent, I say. From the moment you turn pregnant you will find “mom experts”, “baby experts” and “parenting experts” crawling out of the woodwork from all corners.
You know what I mean? All the unsolicited parenting advice that is vomited on you once you are a parent, and it doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or 5th; these people still know more than you. And they expect you to listen.
It doesn’t matter if it’s your first baby or 5th; these people still know more than you. And they expect you to listen.
OK! So I have nothing against the well-meaning advice; I am not the sort who will roll eyes at some good motherly tips. But if I just met you on a lift, I don’t need you to tell me what to do and what not to do with my 3-year-old.
I’ve listed some of the common sages (unsolicited of course) all parents must have come across in their parenting days.
Brace yourself, mama! If you have anywhere to hide, better start running now, because when a sentence starts with THAT—you are in a sticky situation. Be prepared to be bombarded with outdated parenting tips from a generation that has never heard of Google.
How to handle?
A polite nod of head, and “Thank You”, because you cannot really argue with an old hump; you just have to grin and bear it.
This always makes me defensive and hurt. My son still uses a milk bottle (did I just hear you shriek?). Yes, he does. He is obsessed with it and we are trying our best to wean him away from it. He uses his milk cup as well but when he is sleepy he prefers a bottle. I’ve faced a lot of wrath and gasp from strangers and relatives but I’ve realized most of the time that they may genuinely wonder if the behaviour that they’re commenting on is age-appropriate.
Swallow the bitter pill. If they are offering advice on what to do than you might learn something. But if they are just boasting about their super-efficiency, put your hands over your ears and start singing “Wheels on the bus go round and round.”
I bet you have chanced upon that “middle-aged Mrs-know-it-all” with kids in college witnessing your child throwing a tantrum, and uttering that golden line.
Excuse me! But I barely remember what I did last week let alone what I did 20 years ago, ma’am. What’s the secret of your super-memory?
Defuse your anger with a pinch of humor. Congratulate her on raising wonderful robots. Ask her if you can call her next time the child throws a fit.
The world is full of critics. There is always going to be information coming from parent, non-parent, and everyone in between. Filter out what advice to listen to and what to blow off. Eventually, a funny thing happens—you become a “baby expert” in the process, and when your best friend has a baby, you will know exactly what to tell her.
Beer-guzzling, prawn-devouring, mother of a #sassafras boy and a fish-wife. Ex-physio, ex-MBA; future #writer and #mommyblogger. Loves to write on #Parenting & #lifestyle read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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