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Lessons on life after crossing 40: As the 'halfway' mark of modern life, 40 is a great age to take stock and start doing the things you really want to do!
Lessons on life after crossing 40: As the ‘halfway’ mark of modern life, 40 is a great age to take stock and start doing the things you really want to do!
As a teenager, I always thought 30 was really ‘old’, something that was going to happen to me in the millennium, which itself felt several light years away. As for 40, I did not even think that far ahead. It was something that would happen if I lived that long.
Well, as it turns out, ‘40’ the magical number came into my life a few years ago. I woke up that fateful day, with one feeling ….a fear. A fear of the known. A fear that had been ingrained in me from reading, watching television and people talking about the dreaded ‘chalishi’ [hitting 40, in Marathi]. It was a fear of an awful malady that would affect me one day in the distant future. But here I was, living out my future, sooner than I thought I would!
I know it sounds really melodramatic, but there is so much hype about this two digit number, 40. I had to find out if all the things I’d had heard about reaching this age were truths or myths. How else was I going to find out? By turning 40 years old, of course!
Anyway, that feels like yesterday. Here I am today, 40 and a bit, telling you my story.
Here are 14 things I discovered about crossing 40.
Image of happy woman via Shutterstock
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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