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This poem on women's lives examines the many ways in which women's spirits are subdued - right from girlhood.
This poem on women’s lives examines the many ways in which women’s spirits are subdued – right from girlhood.
Being a girl child kills joy.
She cannot run wild
Shrieking, jumping, let fly
Mother is always there to admonish
To add layers of guilt and varnish.
After all the girl child
Has to grow into a graceful lady –
The peak of the malady.
Being a girl kills joy.
She cannot dress and study
As she might
Because most of the apparels
And careers are for her not right.
Consciously her parents groom her
For taking her secondary place
Beside a husband,
Who displaces the parents
As authority to tend her
Or, is it to bend her?
Her frustrations she has to contain,
Outwardly poise she has to maintain,
After all she is emerging as a graceful lady –
The crest of the malady.
Being a woman kills joy.
If home constitutes hundred per cent
Seventy per cent towards her is leant.
While bearing, rearing children
Additional salary she must earn.
For twenty four hours she is on call
No relaxing!
Monotonous, unending, repetitive
Self-negating, her strength taxing
The housework continues.
Faint at heart (no upsetting the applecart),
The mother wound unheeded,
The gendered division of labour
This graceful lady does not challenge
Because it may shake the only bastion of her security
The family.
No ally she has,
Rather she becomes an ally
When she grows her daughter.
‘Don’t answer back’ (Even if you’re right!)
‘Give him, give in’ (Don’t fight!)
‘Serve others first’ (Be the last to take!)
Be self-effacing – the same hackneyed remake.
My mother did it, staying at home
Wearing a sari, with her head covered.
I’m doing it, while fetching a pay packet
With my pallu unfurled.
My daughter will do it
Wearing jeans with her hair arranged in curls.
The garbs change, characters change
The stage and story remain the same.
The heroine is a graceful lady –
(The crescendo of the melody?)
The crux of the malady
A woman is a kill-joy.
Pic used under a CC license credit Edward Rhys
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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