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I was lonely, and locked myself in further rather than dealing with my loneliness; a story of mustering up courage to go to a Counsellor and seek help.
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Finally, I shrugged off the fear covered laziness, and mustered the courage to go and see her. It wasn’t easy to prepare myself for the visit and I had a constant fight between the black and the white entities inside my mind until the white angel won over the black devil, convincing me to accept that there is something wrong inside my mind and it is completely human to be so.
Calling her was easy and went smoothly. However, I spent the whole day at office wondering what I would tell her and how she would judge me. What if she thinks I am just crazy and concludes that there is absolutely nothing wrong with me? I am going to make a fool of myself in front of a stranger.
I was still in two minds whether I should go or if it was a bad idea! I didn’t talk to any friend about this, since I did not want to ask for an opinion. I decided to give it a try and take it as an experience.
Sitting in an auto travelling home, I smiled meekly thinking about the drastic difference in my condition. Well, the counsellor was no God; neither did she know any magic. Sometimes, when you are in the most miserable state one can be in, you just want to talk it out with someone, you need some stranger to show you the mirror.
After I cried out my entire painful story, she neither consoled me nor criticized me; instead she told me a few things that I knew and something I had planned at some point of time during my journey of misery.
This is what she told me:
When I told her about all the things I had in my mind, which I had told most of my close friends as well, (yet their responses did not make way to my head or my ears) the Counsellor simply said one sentence: “You know what the problem is; you are lonely and you have locked yourself up more.”
When I told her that I wanted to be with my husband and my patience had ended with the struggle of past years, she said, “Its simple. Why don’t you make your way there yourself?” Every suggestion she gave me reminded me of all the goals I had set for myself once when I was calmer.
The mistakes I made were to lock myself up and punish myself for something not viable. Loneliness captured me gradually and I did not make an effort to break-free. I did not ever look at the simplest joys of life to expect impractical surprises. I thought without borders and boundaries regardless of time, place and people.
I don’t know whether knowing my mistakes will help me to become less miserable in the future, but I do realize that happiness cannot be asked for; it lies in your hands, either you spread it or spoil it. The counsellor showed me a mirror and sometime a mirror tells you the truth better than friends.
You are your best friend; keep yourself happy!
Image of sad woman via Shutterstock
An IT Professional for bread and butter, a writer from the heart, reader for meditation and cook for spreading happiness. A strong independent woman and I look forward not to change the way world looks read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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