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The world of relationships can be confusing. Here are some open secrets about relationships - things you know, but may have forgotten!
https://www.flickr.com/photos/bookgrl/1290565748
The world of relationships can be confusing. Here are some open secrets about relationships – things you know, but may have forgotten!
Many of us women have dealt with situations where we have ended up being emotional fools. Maybe we forget to live for ourselves, forget our own worth, and forget what we already know? These are those things which, if she re-inculcates in herself, she may not have to suffer much:
Keep yourself engaged, in things other than your partner.
It will not only give you a sense of independence but also keep you away from getting mad about what your partner is doing when he isn’t around.
In short, create your own personal space, time, and life. He is indeed a major part of your life; keep him as a part of your life, instead of making him your life. That personal space will be yours, nobody else’s. Do things what you love to do, and that will be your ‘me-time‘.
I am not asking you to stop loving your loved ones unconditionally. But love them only when your own conditions have been met.
See, when a wife gets physically abused, she still hangs on to that relation maybe because her love is unconditional even if the husband’s is nil. But she needs to understand that she will be able to love him all over again only if she is alive! I am not asking to hit him back, but at least try to save yourself. Gather a little courage and speak out, ask for help in some or the other way, instead of just tolerating it quietly.
Be a little strong, and learn to let go.
Okay, now this is at the root of all and may be the toughest too, for many of us. But if you excel it, you will be the happiest one.
Every living thing needs to breathe. You need to breathe, he needs to breathe, the plant in your garden, the animal sitting on the street. Every single living thing on this earth needs to breathe. If you try to trap it inside a closet it will die due to the lack of oxygen.
This applies to any situation, whether you are married, in a relationship, or on the verge of a break-up; it’s always alright to give each other that much-needed space.
Learn to pull yourself out at the right time from the quicksand you are slowly drifting into.
There is a quote which I have been coming across often, whenever the topic of love/relationships comes up: “If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, it’s yours forever. If it doesn’t, then it was never meant to be.” – Unknown
According to me, this quote is absolute sh*t!
Why? Because why are you making your decisions, and your life, dependent on what the other person’s decision would be? If the person has decided to go away in the first place, whatever be the reason, he went! That was his decision, now it’s for you to decide whether you are ready to accept him in your life any more or not. He comes back or he doesn’t, that’s the later part.
Make him understand that you don’t need him, you choose to be with him.
Unfortunately, most of the times we fail in the decision-making process and land ourselves in that never-ending emotional roller coaster.
Stop being jealous of other women.
Yes, it’s a hard fact, but most of us do get jealous of each other.
We all need to learn that strength is in unity, and nothing else. Stop competing with each other. Each one of us is beautiful in our own way. Just remain confident about who you are. Remain your real self. And the rest will follow .
And please, stop fighting over men (yes, many of us do it).
I laugh at myself today, while I write this article, because I have no idea when and how I actually figured out these very basic yet vital things out.
Just as too much of sugar leads to diabetes, and too much watering of a plant kills it, the same is with real life human issues. It is very important to remain balanced in everything; to know how much you are giving and how much you are getting back in return.
This post was first published here.
Pic credit: bookgrl (Used under CC license)
PSYCHOLOGICAL COUNSELLOR FOR THE PAST 5 YEARS. MA PSYCHOLOGY, Diploma in Community Mental Health, NIMHANS Former Forensic Psychologist Intern. Former content writer. Double Masters in Computer Applications & in Psychology. B.A in Hindustani Classical Music. read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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