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Does a parent's responsibility end with the daughter's marriage? Here is an evocative look at the support parents can extend to their married daughter.
https://www.flickr.com/photos/abbylanes/3575432086
Does a parent’s responsibility end with the daughter’s marriage? Here is an evocative look at the support parents can extend to their married daughter.
We live in a society where domestic violence and male chauvinism is a reality, and not just in the rural areas. So much of pain and misery could be avoided if the brides’ parents refuse to succumb to society’s definition of their role in their married daughters’ lives, and realise that their daughters, married or otherwise, are not a burden, or an object that is in their lives on borrowed time. I dream of a world where every bride’s father would have the courage to sit the groom down and say the following things to him:
Son,
I cannot find the words to express the joy I feel now that my daughter has found a man worthy of her. I assure you that it has been a privilege to bring up such an amazing gift of nature that is my daughter, and soon, I shall be sharing that privilege with you. I have given her the best possible life that I could, and have seen her grow into this kind, smart, intelligent, and independent woman that she is today. I do hope that you shall understand and strive to keep her happy and content, come what may.
Knowing my daughter, I assure you that she shall be a worthy companion to anyone she chooses to spend her life with, in every which way possible. All I ask of you is to treat her right, understand her, and motivate her. Do not crush her voice, tamper with her dreams, or curtail her independence. If you do commit any kind of injustice towards her, I shall not stand by idly, watching you do so.
If such a scenario arises where my daughter is miserable, I will not be held back by empty customs or shoddy traditions, and will most certainly step in.
If such a scenario arises where my daughter is miserable, I will not be held back by empty customs or shoddy traditions, and will most certainly step in. I shall feel proud to bring her back to my home and look after her the same way I did when she was a child, as she will always be my child, no matter how old she is. She will always be my responsibility, and her marriage to you will not change that; it only means that I am sharing my responsibility with you, not giving it up completely.
Son, I have nothing but the best of wishes and the heartiest of blessings for the both of you, but it is my duty to make you realise that I shall be an ever-present pillar in my daughter’s life, one that she can lean and rely on whenever she requires. I hope that you shall not take any offence to my straightforward demeanour, as it stems from my love and awe towards my amazing daughter.
Thank you,
Your future father-in-law
Pic credit: Abbylanes (Used under a CC license)
Hello there! I am Foram, and I am a writer by profession. I have a Post Graduate Diploma in English Journalism, and languages are my go-to. I was brought up in the Middle East, read more...
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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