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Why are some women scared of marriage? Because they've been taught that marriage is about changing the person you are.
I wasn’t scared of marriage. I did not think about it could be one reason. And I did not know what all was part of the package could be another reason. But on examining it closer and having read a bit in the past few years, I realised I wasn’t scared of marriage because I was not prepared, as a sacrificial goat often is, prepared for marriage.
I think it largely begins and belongs with my mother as it begins, belongs and stays with other mothers. I think I wasn’t scared of marriage and what all it will do to curb me as a person because I wasn’t trained to be someone else after marriage.
I was, since the childhood, put on a certain mental fodder that I took for granted would not change after the marriage. I am an avid reader and I was never fed the thought that I will be barred from reading when I got married. So why would marriage scare me?
Brought up in such an atmosphere where I was taught by example how responsibilities of the household are meant to be shared and they are not burdens under which one person would stifle and other gained girth, so why would marriage scare me?
I was never asked to do/ learn things, even on the insistence of neighbourhood aunties, because a married girl should know them or else……so why would marriage scare me?
I was implored often to get off my butt and get moving but that was not for the sole purpose of being eye candy for the husband-to-be so why would marriage scare me?
You see I was never asked to be interesting to ensure the husband’s interest in me so why would marriage scare me?
There were other things though like being taught the importance of being financially independent, well-read, thoughtful, sincere, respectful and those I imbibed to a great extent and so even after being married for seven years and seeing some of the realities differ, I am not scared of marriage.
Pic credit: Debarshi Ray (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Aanandika Sood aspires to be the rolling stone that gathers a lot of moss. After 8 years of writing copies and columns, editing and scripting stories and honing her PR skills, she is now playing read more...
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
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