Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Why do married women in India display a Buddha expression? Analyzing how Indian women respond to daily problems.
As a child, I first noticed the pronounced ‘Buddha expression” on my own grandmother. Then I observed more closely other grandmotherly women (amongst friends and family) and I saw the ‘Buddha expression’ in all of them.
Then I observed my mother, aunts and mothers of friends – and I again saw many hues of the “Buddha expression”. In some instances, it was not as pronounced as it was for the grandmother generation. But it was visible.
So what is the ‘Buddha expression’, you may ask.
It is this expression that I have observed in way too many married women over the years; It is characterized by this ‘calm, serene and peaceful facial expression’ which does not really change based on external triggers or stimulants – be it in words or deeds [good, bad or ugly] of people around you.
Let me give you a few examples that I’ve seen in women around me: You speak rudely to her; and she is quiet, unruffled and has that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face. You shout at her; and she is still quiet, unruffled and has that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face. In some cases, you even beat her; and she still has that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face. You praise her; and she still does not say anything. She just has that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face. You sing her glory; and still she does not say anything. She just has that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face. You thank her for all that she has done for you; and she responds with that ‘Buddha expression’ on her face.
I often wondered how married women could have the ‘Buddha expression’, no matter what situation lay in front of them? I thought… Did they not have any feelings? Were they stoned? Did they think there’s no point in expressing their thoughts? Did they not want to react and respond – shout / scream / slap / rejoice in what was being spoken / said of them? Did they not want to share their innermost emotions with their loved ones (family / friends)?
What was it that universally brought out the ‘BUDDHA expression’ in many a married woman?
As I think, observe and analyze – I think the reason is that the only ‘practical and realistic’ way for a married woman to BE was to mask her true thoughts and emotions with the ‘BUDDHA expression’.
You say what’s on your mind – and you’re labeled as ‘ambitious’, ‘bossy’, ‘dominating’, ‘not lady-like’, ‘being disrespectful’, ‘too smart’, and ‘aggressive’. So over a period of time, you learn to hold back and not really speak what’s on your mind. The only possible response is SILENCE. And if you are silent and serious, then again that’s not acceptable behavior. So you don the ‘Buddha expression’ – ‘Calm, Serene and peaceful’.
You say what’s in your heart – and again, you’re written off as a cry baby who is just too emotional and sentimental about everything under the sun. Too girlish or all that you do is cry for everything is what will be said about you. Again, the only possible response is SILENCE. And if you are silent and show a tinge of emotion, then again that’s not acceptable behavior. So you don the ‘Buddha expression’ – ‘Calm, Serene and peaceful.’
You feel happy about something good that’s happened and react in a happy and excited manner – and you are again type-cast as someone who gets too carried away with what others say. Again, the only possible response is SILENCE. And if you are silent and show happiness, then again that’s not acceptable behavior. So you don the ‘Buddha expression’ – ‘Calm, Serene and peaceful’.
Bottom-Line: Any sort of reaction or response to external triggers and stimulants (good, bad or ugly) – and you are labeled and branded…. for life.
So the ‘Buddha expression’ was a self-discovered, self-imposed and self-taught shield against the world for many a married woman.
Now with the times changing, I still see the ‘Buddha expression’ in many an experienced married woman. For most of them, it is again probably the only ‘practical and realistic’ way to maintain peace in the family on a daily basis. They do pick battles once in a way, but wisely! “No point in waging a war every single day. After all, we all want to have a good night’s sleep. So this Buddha expression keeps the family going through the ups and downs of what life has to offer” is how one woman summed it up!
I really don’t know how long women need to wear the ‘Buddha expression’ to keep the world going! But here’s what I do know – There are benefits in mastering the art of the ‘Buddha expression’. And while I practice this art, you leave a comment to let me know how long do you think married women need to keep the ‘Buddha expression’ going?
pic credit: patriziasoliani (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Working Mom • Marketologist - Digital Artisan - Brand Storyteller • Ideapreneur • Writer - Blogger - Columnist • IIMB Alumni • Mentor • Horizon Gazer • Alchemist • Creator - Connector - Catalyst - Collaborator - Community Builder • Chief Happiness Officer of my Life read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
It is shameful that in today's world too, women are abused and even killed for giving birth to a girl, and the infant's life is also of no value.
Trigger Warning: This deals with domestic violence, suicide, and violence against women, and may be triggering to survivors.
I am so glad that the esteemed courts are now giving the much-required verdicts regarding certain ideologies that were not at all entertained earlier. I mean we all have studied this much biology at our school level and it is our duty (our generation) to educate our elders about it.
Why someone have to lose a life to bring such awareness to the society. Delhi High Court gave this judgement concerning a case that filed by the deceased daughter’s parents against her in-laws. She committed suicide as she was harassed and tortured for dowry and giving birth to two daughters.
Please enter your email address