My Thoughts On Initiating Sex, As A Woman

Posted: July 11, 2013

While blogging on better relationships, one of the most common questions, I come across is “Should I, as a woman initiate sex? And how?” So, I thought, let me share my views on this topic on a community that is meant primarily for women.

Well, my straight answer is ‘yes’. You as a woman should take the charge of your bedroom because if you don’t, trust me, you are missing out on an opportunity to be completely involved in a sexual relationship, which is vital for the overall health of your relationship and your sense of self.

Let me ask you, what’s keeping you from initiating sex? Do you find it intimidating or are you scared of being shot down? Ladies, I am assuming that you are married or at least have been in a relationship for a while, so you are much ahead of the game. You already know that your man loves you and wants you.

Women initiating sex I am not saying that initiating the move means you should come on to him like a porn star or grab him the moment you see him. Instead, get a little creative and use a more subtle seduction approach. Give him the hint that you too want him. I understand, saying it loud that “I want you” can get embarrassing, especially if this kind of talk does not come naturally to you. But, how about popping a note in your partners pocket before he leaves for work? Or sending him a quick text message saying, “Can’t wait to make love”, or “I want to get naughty tonight”. This part I leave on to you, as it completely depends on the kind of relationship you have.

If you still feel, that sending such a straight request for sex is beyond your comfort zone, don’t fear – a non verbal cue like a little ear nibbling or a kiss on his neck while he is busy watching television or working on his computer will help you send the signal across.

You know I strongly believe that if a woman can get herself in the mood, she is much more likely to initiate the act. It’s like winning half the battle. So, to rev up your sex drive, browse through some erotic pictures, or spend some time in bed thinking about the last time you both made love.

Remember; just because you are willing to start the act, it does not mean you have to run the entire show. Once your man gets the clue that you want him between the sheets, he will be so tight in his pants that he will be the one grabbing you. Then as you continue practicing these simple seduction strategies, I bet, your sexual confidence will touch new heights and you will soon find yourself ready to try much bolder moves.

Anchal Bhatia is a blogger and writer by choice, an entrepreneur by profession. Apart from writing for various online platforms, she owns a relationship and lifestyle blog. If you are struggling to create a healthy and strong relationship, do reach out and contact her with your questions. She will communicate with you confidentially by email about whatever is on your mind.

*Photo credit: Jeanny Schmidt (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)

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1 Comment


  1. Wow! I wasn’t aware that even this can be a problem for women.

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