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Many Indian women still find initiating sex a challenge, since we are conditioned to appear timid and shy.
While blogging on better relationships, one of the most common questions, I come across is “Should I, as a woman initiate sex? And how?” So, I thought, let me share my views on this topic on a community that is meant primarily for women.
Well, my straight answer is ‘yes’. You as a woman should take the charge of your bedroom because if you don’t, trust me, you are missing out on an opportunity to be completely involved in a sexual relationship, which is vital for the overall health of your relationship and your sense of self.
Let me ask you, what’s keeping you from initiating sex? Do you find it intimidating or are you scared of being shot down? Ladies, I am assuming that you are married or at least have been in a relationship for a while, so you are much ahead of the game. You already know that your man loves you and wants you.
I am not saying that initiating the move means you should come on to him like a porn star or grab him the moment you see him. Instead, get a little creative and use a more subtle seduction approach. Give him the hint that you too want him. I understand, saying it loud that “I want you” can get embarrassing, especially if this kind of talk does not come naturally to you. But, how about popping a note in your partners pocket before he leaves for work? Or sending him a quick text message saying, “Can’t wait to make love”, or “I want to get naughty tonight”. This part I leave on to you, as it completely depends on the kind of relationship you have.
If you still feel, that sending such a straight request for sex is beyond your comfort zone, don’t fear – a non verbal cue like a little ear nibbling or a kiss on his neck while he is busy watching television or working on his computer will help you send the signal across.
You know I strongly believe that if a woman can get herself in the mood, she is much more likely to initiate the act. It’s like winning half the battle. So, to rev up your sex drive, browse through some erotic pictures, or spend some time in bed thinking about the last time you both made love.
Remember; just because you are willing to start the act, it does not mean you have to run the entire show. Once your man gets the clue that you want him between the sheets, he will be so tight in his pants that he will be the one grabbing you. Then as you continue practicing these simple seduction strategies, I bet, your sexual confidence will touch new heights and you will soon find yourself ready to try much bolder moves.
Anchal Bhatia is a blogger and writer by choice, an entrepreneur by profession. Apart from writing for various online platforms, she owns a relationship and lifestyle blog. If you are struggling to create a healthy and strong relationship, do reach out and contact her with your questions. She will communicate with you confidentially by email about whatever is on your mind.
*Photo credit: Jeanny Schmidt (Used under the Creative Commons Attribution License.)
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Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
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