Check out 16 Return-To-Work Programs In India For Ambitious Women Like You!
Women don't need protection - women's empowerment is about treating us as capable adults who can take care of ourselves.
A well-known director revealed in a chat show with me that her parents raised her to be her own person, and never thought to discriminate between her and her brothers. In fact, she said, her first drink was with her father who encouraged her to be open and responsible with her parents rather than turn her into a rebel. The parents obviously know a thing or two about raising children.
The woman has turned into a celebrity known for making sensible cinema. Her in-laws, she further revealed, still cannot tolerate their son drinking alcohol in their presence, never mind that both they and he are mature professionals. The woman is truly a Beyond Pink woman, independent, empowered and clear about her goals. In my view, she has got there because she never felt the need to ‘hide’ from her parents.
Women aren’t dainty pieces of china to be handled with extreme caution, or ticking bombs, to be kept at a wary distance. Of course they know that, but does everyone else around them? There is really no need to cocoon them from the ‘ills’ of the world. Their maturity in handling any situation that challenges their sensibilities is the same, if not higher, than of men. Allow them the use of the faculties, and see what a difference they make to their environment. Restrict them and enforce patriarchal values and watch them turn into perfect viragos.
Here one isn’t talking about tolerance. Tolerance implies kindness, indulgence, patronage. Tolerance is a negation of negativity, it is the twilight zone of neutrality. Tolerance at best creates wallflowers, women who are happy to be ignored and will, therefore, perpetuate the canard that a woman must be seen and not heard.
In fact, women must be encouraged from childhood to be open, and honest and courageous, to speak their minds, to act with boldness, to meet challenges head on. If in childhood, their personality is shaped to be honest, then that’s the face they’ll present to themselves and the rest of the world. Imagine the excitement and relief of having millions of honest people in this world, people who say exactly what they believe without the need for obfuscation.
So out with the ‘don’t laugh too much, don’t eat too much, don’t drink too much, don’t sleep around too much’ and in with the ‘be yourself, be sensible, be good, be happy’. The women such an attitude will create will build a world of creativity, of declaring that they can do anything, take up the toughest challenges, mould society to their demands. Wouldn’t we all like to live in such a world?
Pic credit: bljh (Used under a Creative Commons license)
Beyond Pink writes on women's stories in urban India. They could be real or fictional, but they are all about what women in modern India think about their partners, their families, their workplace and read more...
Stay updated with our Weekly Newsletter or Daily Summary - or both!
Neena was the sole caregiver of Amma and though one would think that Amma was dependent on her, Neena felt otherwise.
Neena inhaled the aroma that emanated from the pan and took a deep breath. The aroma of cumin interspersed with butter transported her back to the modest kitchen in her native village. She could picture her father standing in the kitchen wearing his white crisp kurta as he made delectable concoctions for his only daughter.
Neena grew up in a home where both her parents worked together in tandem to keep the house up and running. She had a blissful childhood in her modest two-room house. The house was small but every nook and cranny gave her memories of a lifetime. Neena’s young heart imagined that her life would follow the same cheerful course. But how wrong she was!
When she was sixteen, the catastrophic clutches of destiny snatched away her parents. They passed away in a road accident and Neena was devastated. Relatives thronged her now gloomy house and soon it was decided that she should be married off.
Women today don’t want to be in a partnership that complicates their lives further. They need an equal partner with whom they can figure out life as a team, playing by each other’s strengths.
We all are familiar with that one annoying aunty who is more interested in our marital status than in the dessert counter at a wedding. But these aunties have somehow become obsolete now. Now they are replaced by men we have in our lives. Friends, family, and even work colleagues. It’s the men who are worried about why we are not saying yes to one among their clans. What is wrong with us? Aren’t we scared of dying alone? Like them?
A recent interaction with a guy friend of mine turned sour when he lectured me about how I would regret not getting married at the right time. He lectured that every event in our lives needs to be completed within a certain timeframe set by society else we are doomed. I wasn’t angry. I was just disappointed to realize that annoying aunties are rapidly doubling in our society. And they don’t just appear at weddings or family functions anymore. They are everywhere. They are the real pandemic.
Let’s examine this a little closer.
Please enter your email address