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Thoughts on turning 30 by a woman - on why 30 is a fantastic age.
The movie Turning 30 was all about gaining /obtaining fulfilment and completeness within one’s own self. As I turn 30 in a month’s time, I realize how much I have changed and grown in the last decade. The journey from my twenties to thirties has been far from smooth; it has been turbulent, prickly and several times, embarrassing. When I look back at those times, I come to the conclusion that I don’t want to think about those times. I was immature, ignorant, confused and naive.
I do not find time running away from my hands right now. In fact, this is the time I am living up the most. 30 is not a scary number for me.
And here are the reasons why..
– I feel so much at ease. With myself, with everyone around me, with what I am doing, with all the unknown adventures I am going to face.
– I have been there, done that. Nothing scares me now.
– I got married. Isn’t marriage the biggest risk you take in your life? Isn’t it the deepest abyss? Well, I plunged into it. And I am still surviving. I never thought I would or could.
– I can say No.
– I can stand up for myself.
– I have travelled alone to foreign countries. Handled my belongings, befriended and lived with strangers and returned home without a scratch!
– I am not afraid to ask questions, speak my mind or make mistakes.
– I adopted new habits and hobbies with sheer determination and will power and these took me to places.
– I switched careers. Took up a totally new field I am passionate about. Learning new stuff everyday and TOTALLY loving it.
– I do not need anyone else to complete me. I feel complete all by myself.
– I still fall down. But I do get up and get moving just as soon.
– I can go anywhere with just Google Maps as my guide.
– I faced and warded away stalkers, eve teasers, anonymous callers and drunkards. Is there anyone else who dares touch me now? Was I scared? Yes. Am I now? No.
– I have handled money, bosses, men, the kitchen, tears, stones, solitude, dreams and broken dreams.
– I know who my friends are.
– I have learnt the art of giving. I have also learnt the art of being selfish.
– I know how to find my way after getting lost.
– I will not lose my self-respect or pride for any man.
– I have my dreams. I will follow them passionately. And not so much as a man or the world can stop me.
– I know when to apologize and when not to.
– I know how much to hold on and when to let go.
– I have seen days when I would wait for an hour for the bus because I had no money for a rickshaw; I have seen days when I survived the whole day on a glass of milk and a bhel because I had not enough money for Masala Dosa; I have also seen days when I could just go and buy gold without seeking anyone’s permission.
– The words immature, ignorant, confused and naive are replaced with mature, poised, self sufficient and calm.
– I love myself and respect myself more than what I did when I was 24.
Standing at the threshold of thirties, I feel most content with myself and my life than I ever felt before. I am eager to move forward because I know there is an exciting life ahead.
30 is a fantastic age. Don’t dread it. It brings, along with it, magic, miracles and hope.
NS is an ex-Human Resource professional and current Fashion Designing student. She is a mixed bag – with her likes ranging from reading, gardening, cooking, home decor, arts-crafts, music, dancing to travelling, photographing, writing and chocolate. When she is not drooling over new recipes, lusting over shoes or hunting for intoxicating music, she connects with friends and family back in India, sharing little tit-bits of her life with them. She currently resides in California, US.
Pic credit: saritakate (Used under a creative commons license)
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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