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Serious about ending rape in India? Don't feel smug that you are not a rapist. Rape culture arises from how society views the role of women
Blogger Arundhati Venkatesh describes herself as a kid-lit enthusiast, an observer of life and people, a feminist, a minimalist and a compulsive maker of lists! An engineer by degree, and an IT professional in her previous life, she is now an aspiring writer. Arundhati works for an NGO.
We’ve heard politicians tell us a woman who has been raped is better off dead. As if that wasn’t enough, we had a woman scientist say she shouldn’t have resisted rape. So effectively, women are being told what to do when being raped – ‘submit, don’t protest’ – and that life is not worth living after. And of course, we’ve always been told how to dress, talk, laugh (or not).
That’s not all. The reaction from the common man is telling. He condemns rape and expresses solidarity with women. He asks us to look at this as an isolated incident – “it is not ‘some men’, just these six rapists, no one else”. He tells us not to get “irrational”, to control our anger – “men are holding candles and protesting, men are angry too. So women, don’t get any angrier.” So now we have men getting defensive and telling us how angry we can get.
Yes, we are angry. We are angry because we see ourselves in her. It is not just one woman’s story. Or that of six men. We see how the politicians, the police, the judiciary, the media, the movie industry, the man on the street, the woman… all contribute to the drama that leads to this. Rape does not occur in a vacuum. To believe that would be fooling ourselves and absolving ourselves of all responsibility.
Separating rape from all other injustice against women really angers me – people occupying moral high ground because they wouldn’t rape anyone. Get off that pedestal you’ve put yourself on.
It’s not just those six criminals who are responsible. It is also those who walked away. And the police personnel. And the politicians who wait for the noise to die down. And it is not just this one rape, but every single rape.
And it is not just rape. It is every act of abuse. It is every disrespectful and stereotypical statement uttered. It is every opinion and judgment – even those left unsaid.
We are all aiders and abettors, or have been at some point. Let’s accept it and do something about it at least now.
People, please stop telling women what to do. Think about what you (men and women) need to do.
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People say that women are the greatest enemies of women. I vehemently disagree. It is the patriarchal mindset that makes women believe in the wrong ideology.
The entire world celebrates International Women’s Day on March 8, 2024. It should be a joyful day, but unfortunately, not all women are entitled to this privilege, as violence against women is at its peak. The experience of oppression pushes many women to choose freedom. As far as patriotism is concerned, feminism is not a cup of tea in this society.
What happens when a woman decides to stand up for herself? Does this world easily accept the decisions of women in this society? What inspires them to be free of the clutches of the oppression that women have faced for ages? Most of the time, women do not get the chance to decide for themselves. Their lives are always at the mercy of someone, which can be their parents, siblings, husband, or children.
In some cases, women do not feel the need to make any decisions. They are taught to obey the patriarchal system, which makes them believe that they are right. In my family, I was never taught to make decisions on my own. It was always my parents who bought dresses and all that I needed.
14 years after her last feature film Dhobi Ghat, storyteller extraordinaire comes up with her new film, Laapataa Ladies, a must watch.
*Some spoilers alert*
Every religion around the world dictates terms to women. The onus is always on women to be ‘modest’ and cover their faces and bodies so men can’t be “tempted”, rather than on men to keep their eyes where they belong and behave like civilized beings. So much so that even rape has been excused on the grounds of women eating chowmein or ‘men will be men’. I think the best Hindi movie retort to this unwanted advice on ‘akeli ladki khuli tijori ki tarah hoti hai’ (an alone woman is like an open jewellery box) came from Geet in Jab We Met – Kya aap gyan dene ke paise lete hain kyonki chillar nahin hain mere paas.
The premise of Laapataa Ladies is beautifully simple – two brides clad in the ghunghat that covers their identity get mixed up on a train. Within this Russian Doll, you get a comedy of errors, a story of getting lost, a commentary on patriarchy’s attitude towards women, a mystery, and a tale of finding oneself, all in one. Done with a mostly light touch that has you laughing and nodding along.
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